Surfacing

"You've swallowed a lot of things......you didn't like in your life."

Well, wasn't that was an 'oh shit' start to my day! When truth squeezes past my inner censor and announces itself like a camera flash going off in my eyes, it`s hard not to flinch. It's like being a child in a doctor`s office, who`s been told it`s not going to hurt. And just as you let your guard down, because they are doing such a good job of distracting you, by asking the name of your pet cat or some such nonesense, when they pierce you with the needle and you scream bloody murder that that. wasn`t. fair. I`ve never liked surprises.

Those little dots in that quote above are where I came close to squelching that thought this morning. I'd been sitting at the table eating my breakfast, minding my own business, while looking at my protein shake with boredom. The electric blender was dirty from yesterday morning`s breakfast and I was too lazy to wash it. That meant instead of frozen strawberries added to the mix it was just protein powder and rice milk mixed up in a shaker bottle. Not nearly so tasty. I'd been crunching my way through cooked cereal that I'd doctored up with sliced almonds, shredded coconut and coconut oil when I took a sip of my shake and was staring into the glass, deciding whether to chug-a-lug it (like I used to do with booze) or sip it (which I still find a foreign concept with anything except hot tea).

As I started to chug my shake that thought about swallowing a lot of things surfaced uninvited. I took a deep breath before I decided not to be scared of how the sentence might end. I could analyze that sentence to death but for today it`s enough to acknowledge it speaks truth to me on many, many levels. Glory be.