Whatcha Looking For?

It's off to the doctor today for some pain relief.
Good thing I called yesterday.
Today is his last in office day until after the New Year.
That was cutting it pretty fine.
If I'd procrastinated I'd be SOL.

Sleep was elusive last night.
Getting some sleep is better than no sleep.
I vouch for that.
Tomorrow I should be as good as new again.

The mail was full of wonderful packages yesterday.
They were all for me.
(Ya didn't know it's all about me?)
Several Christmas cards in the mix, too.
They look pretty hanging on a gold string across the bay window.

I feel ambivalent about Christmas this year.
My Advent journey has felt empty and
barely on the radar screen as well.
I don't like either of those feelings.
Most likely because I want to
judge myself for where I'm at.
I want to be the King of the castle.
'Cause it's all about me.

Yet, for today, I'm accepting that where I'm at
is where I'm at.
Tomorrow may be different.
I've wasted oodles of energy in times past
pretending or wishing I was
somewhere different on my journey.
But today is what is before me.
Who I am is enough. Right now. As is.
You, too.
Remember that.

I'm grateful for the gift of life today.
For the ability to make choices.
For knowing not to take it all so seriously.
And for succeeding in doing just that sometimes.
My closest friends describe me as intense.
So any day I manage not to take myself or life too seriously
is a day to be celebrated.
I'm sitting here rolling my shoulders and loosening up.
For you never know what the day will bring.
If I look for the good, I'll find it.
If I look for the negative, I'll find that, too.
I often pray that God will give me
the eyes to see
the ears to hear
and the heart to respond
to Him in everything.