Lawn Free

School buses are being cancelled today.
So much ice and snow make for wretched road conditions.
Lovely, lovely weather.
We're supposed to be in the lawyer's office this afternoon
to sign our wills, personal directives and power of attorney stuff.
Fatalistic thinking creeps in and I'm sure we'll be killed on the way to the lawyer's office before we can sign those papers.
That's how my brain wants to work.
But I'm trying to ignore it.
I think because dearest one has seen
so much death in his line of work,
we're a bit hyper aware that lives get cut short
all the time.

Sometimes I find myself wondering about people who die in accidents and how they start their last day on earth as normal as everyone else.
A few years ago I had an accident with the riding lawn mower. As the brakes failed on the lawn mower I was squished between the seat and that little A shaped bit at the end of the swing set. With only 6 inches to spare between the two I'm still a bit dumbfounded as to how I fit. Later I told dearest one how it felt like the seat of the lawn mower had tipped over backwards as I was squeezed between the two. We checked and the seat doesn't bend backwards. My throat was sore from where my neck rubbed against the bar as I squished under it. I must have turned my head at the last minute otherwise my chin would have caught on the bar. Makes me shudder to think of it, still. That incident really shook me up and I was grateful to not have any serious injuries from it. Dearest one was on a tractor in the field and out of cell phone range. I was pretty shook up and thought to myself, that's how quickly death happens to people all the time. My last thought as I went under the bar was that I was going to go under the bar. That was it until I came out the other side. Had it killed me, well, my last thought would have been something mundane. I have a bleeding disorder and internal bleeding would kill me quickly; that's what I was worried about the most when I was finally able to stop the mower. Man, I shook for a long time.

Well, that's kind of morbid to write about first thing in the morning. Didn't see that coming. It's been two years and this past summer I finally could mow the lawn on that side of the yard again although I panic easily if I think I'm in a tight spot. We replaced that lawn mower but I still prefer mowing in a wide open space to between trees and around that swing set.

At least with ice and snow there are no lawns in need of mowing.
Today, I'm grateful to have the gift of life.