Saturday, November 15, 2008

A Temporary Glitch

This is Saturday's post written on Friday night.
I am so, so weary tonight.
No spoons.
Not sure what's going on with my body
but I've been having problems with my heart racing
and lessening spoons for nearly 2 weeks now.
(I'll be seeing my doctor this week.)
Dearest one had to push the grocery cart in the store tonight
and I couldn't carry in any of the shopping bags.
I knew carrying them would make my heart go berserk.
I feel discouraged and weepy.
Long time readers know of the vast improvement to my health
that I've enjoyed since I came home from rehab
a year ago. How I went from having my days dictated by my
spoon supply to not giving them much thought at all.
If I have any say in it I'm not going back to that.
I hope this is a temporary glitch.
Lord have mercy.
Please delurk today, whoever reads this.
I just need to be reminded that I'm not alone on the journey.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

(((((Hope)))))) I'm sorry to hear you're feeling bad. As I'm writing this, I just now remembered a snippet of the dream I had last night.

I was looking in the cutlery drawer and noticed that it was full when, I guess, not long before it had been pretty low in supplies. In my mind I said, "Hope must've stayed up late doing dishes." Then I marveled at how committed you were to staying on top of maintenance chores. I felt it was important that you did this but also wondered if you really needed to do this in the middle of the night.

Weird, eh? The dream segment was stuck in the middle of some meandering story that pretty much defines the types of dream I regularly have as anyone who has had the mis-fortune of having to endure my re-telling of them will corroborate.

I hope your able to give yourself a break and rest a little today. Maybe it's a CBC Sports kinda day? :)Take care, my friend.
Mich

Hope said...

Thanks Mich.
Dishes are the only maintenance chore I try to keep up on a daily basis. They are sitting there in the sink from last night as I type. The rest of the house is debatable.
I'm headed to a meeting if the roads are in shape this morning. Otherwise I would love to have a CBC Sports Saturday. I haven't been to a meeting in 2 weeks due to crappy weather and I really need one this morning.
Thank you for commenting. I was in a weary state last night when I wrote this post.

m2 said...

sweetie, you are not alone today. i am here, i don't comment nearly as often as i used to (isolation tends to do that to people), but i recognize when i have the need to know people are around, reading, caring.

i am all of that, and then some. here's hoping today will be a better day for us all.

pen

Lisa said...

still reading.
and praying for you today.

Lisa

Chuck Sigars said...

I am, of course, always here and always listening. At this moment, trying to comment and listening to my wife talk at the same time. Ah, torn between 2 women...hang in there, listen to your body, take care.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

What a great night for me to pick to catch up on your blog, because I can be here to give you a big hug. Take care of yourself.

And maybe this is not the place, but I'm excited that you're doing NaNoWriMo and that you've gotten so far with it.

Heidi Renee said...

oh hope, i am so sorry. i finally caught up on the 40(!) posts that had backlogged in my bloglines yesterday, but didn't get a chance to write any comments.

i miss you.

praying here. lighting a candle.

honor your body, listen to what it's telling you. i love you friend - hope floats, remember?

wilsonian said...

Along side, Hope.
Praying that even in this you find value in the story being told by your body.

xo

renee said...

delurking. don't give up.

Jackie said...

Sorry I'm a few days late with post, but I am here reading.
Hope your dr appoitment goes well!

Val said...

I know I'm late, but...

(((((Hope))))) You're not alone on your journey.