Going Under

We're in big city far from home where I'll have a diagnostic test early tomorrow morning which will hopefully put another piece into the puzzle that is my enlarged heart. It's been a long day of driving with the bonus of seeing one of dearest one's brother, who lives just a few miles from us and who set out on holidays this morning. We ran into each other at lunch time in a city 6 hours down the road. A nice surprise in our day.

The last time I had a diagnostic test that required being put semi under I woke up feeling drunk. I absolutely loved the feeling as if it hadn't been 20 years since I'd experienced such a feeling. This time I advocated for myself and told the cardiologist that I would refuse any medication that would make me feel that way again. She went a little off on me - concerned that I'm an alcoholic - and promptly ordered blood work for my liver. Sigh. My dear cardiologist it's been 21 years since I had a drink. I think my liver has recuperated by now. She also came up with an alternative which has no happy drugs in it. I am grateful.

For all my attempts at surrendering life to God on a daily basis there two times when I really get it that I am not in control of the universe. One of those is when I get put under for medical tests. The other is when I get on an airplane. I'm glad that going under anaesthetic tomorrow will be without the side effect of feeling like I'm flying high.