Gratitude

I don't think I will ever be a morning person.
But I can get up at an ungodly hour and be decent about it.
The 12 steps have taught me I get to choose my attitude
especially when I'd rather be asleep.

I did have a great first day of work.
The job is doable.
I can do it.
It's a pretty relaxed atmosphere.
No one is expecting me to be an expert
with only one day of training.
Actually I think the job is going to spoil me.

The powers that be cancelled school buses this morning
due to the snow and blowing snow.
We narrowly escaped being hit by a ding bat who sailed through a stop sign on the other side of the four lane highway and then failed to yield to oncoming traffic, which was us.
I rarely call other drivers names but he did scare me this morning.
That part of me that has a vivid imagination
went on a little jaunt right then.
It never imagines plain old ordinary life. No, it's got to be something like, "OMG she died on her first day of work, she was so stupid dedicated that she drove a hundred 70 miles in a snowstorm to get there on time.
You know, that kind of trip.

Over the past many years I have walked away
from all gossipy relationships.
My new job?
Everyone congregates around my desk
cause it's the hub of the place.
And they talk.
It's not malicious talk but it's talk.
So this should be interesting.
That part of me that thrived on juicy bits of other people's lives?
It's still there.
But I lost my desire to feed it somewhere along the way.
I think it was when dearest one's brother was killed and the rumours
abounded about him being murdered. The gossip wheel went haywire and the reporters phoned every single one of us with the same last name and wanted all the details. None of the immediate family would cooperate.
So on the third page of the newspaper they printed gossip and passed it off as news.
I wrote a letter to the editor asking when did gossip become worthy of the 3rd page?
Anyway, somewhere in there it killed my desire to be a part of the gossip wheel. The only time I want to cave on that is when I'm not willing to look inward and am desperate for some outward looking to boost my ego.

Anyway, it has been a good day.
I was scared I wouldn't be able to do the job
and I found out today those fears were unfounded.
The person who I'm replacing had her last day today
so next week I'm on my own.
I am grateful for having learned how to ask for help
instead of pretending I know it all.
So glad I know my worth is not in knowing but in being.

To top off a really good day my radio documentary is being rerun tonight. If you'd like the details of where to listen to it in the archives drop me an email and I'll tell you.