Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Numbering My Thoughts

Thump. Thud. Thud.

Those are the early morning sounds that woke us up a few days ago.
The energizer bunny had rolled off the bed.
I grinned in the dark and sang to dearest one, "They all rolled over and one fell out..." We giggled and went back to sleep, once the energizer bunny was safely on the bed again. Yeah, I know, there is a kennel in our room just for the Pugs. It's doing duty as a table for a laundry basket at the moment.

Speaking of numbers, you know the all in that little ditty up above, when you count all my posts this one is numero eleven hundred.
Which is cool, eh?
Except eleven hundred sounds weird.
One thousand and one hundred doesn't roll of the tongue well, either.
Some days most words sound weird.
Does that ever happen to you? You write a word out and think to yourself it can't possibly be spelled that way even though another part of your brain is telling you you've been spelling it that way for decades. I wonder why words look or sound so alien some days.

I had something interesting happen today.
Well, let me back up a day.
There's a person in my life who I instinctively don't trust.
Passive aggressiveness is hard to pin down sometimes.
I tried earlier this week but the person smoothly side stepped my bluntness.
Wriggled right out of my question.

I've been known, in my former life, to grab people by the shirt, just under their throat, and threaten them. There is nothing passive aggressive about that but I don't recommend trying it. That was before I knew that I have a voice for a reason and it's much better to use my voice than my might. Anyway, I just was irritated all the day long by my inability to make her own up to something she did that crossed one of my boundaries. I do get tempted to grab people by the shirt now and then but that day wasn't one of them. Mercifully. Making amends keeps me from reckless behaviour more often than not. This morning I prayed that there would be a time lapse between my impulses and actions.

Yesterday I was talking to God and saying that if only I knew a little something about this person who I don't trust, something that would put a human face to her, it would help.
Today a little tidbit of info came out of her mouth and I asked her about it.
Within 5 minutes there was enough humanity spilling out that my heart softened.
I still don't trust her, and that is just fine.
I can trust my instincts.
But it is nice to know there is a soft heart underneath the hard exterior.

Next post will be eleven hundred and one.
That sounds better.
Thankfully there are only two pugs in the bed.


9 comments:

Tall Kay said...

I KNEW the pugs would win! LOL
My Molly isn't here tonite and I already miss her so much! Hug a pug for me :o)

Daisy said...

It's kinda like Bilbo Baggins and his "eleventy-one years", eh? Guess Tolkien might have had some of the same thoughts regarding the sound of that number.

Here's to softened hearts.
Mich

Jim said...

You make me smile this morning, hope....

Gabriella Moonlight said...

I LOVE this post..I so understand the not trusting part of life and passive agressiveness is so hard to figure out...

On the puglies...one of mine fell out of bed the other night and I swore that I heard the other one giggle quitely to herself...:-)

Hugs
G

enchantedoak said...

Likewise you brought a smile to my sleep-deprived mopey face this morning. So glad you're not in jail for assault but praying instead.
Chris

Gin said...

Gotta love those pugs! They always come out on top don't they??? And yes, the whole word thing that doesn't look right, happens to me all of the time!!!

Prayer Girl said...

Sometimes only God can create a crack in a hardened, broken heart that will allow someone to come in. Hope that is what is happening here.

God bless your efforts,
PG

Anonymous said...

I completely identity with this!

"Some days most words sound weird.
Does that ever happen to you? You write a word out and think to yourself it can't possibly be spelled that way even though another part of your brain is telling you you've been spelling it that way for decades. I wonder why words look or sound so alien some days."

And I thought I was alone! ;)

cheers, Gerry

daisymarie said...

We sing that song often....one of my childhood favs. I was even thinking it this afternoon as Asher was bouncing on the bed--and praying he didn't fall off.