Saturday, March 28, 2009

Gimme Gimme

"What if I'm using confession as a means to an end? In the same way I used people for sex? In that gimme, gimme kind of way that is pure selfishness?"

That was just one bit of conversation yesterday during confession with Fr. Charlie. He very gently pointed out that I had no idea how the grace imparted in this Sacrament was going to work its way out in my life. Only that it definitely would.

I'm grateful that I can't figure out how God is going to work in my life. That grace remains a mystery and a gift. While I can be a conduit of it, I can't manifest it.

Over twenty years ago a minister asked me how I defined God's grace. At the time the only working knowledge I had of the word grace was something you said before meals when your grandma was present. So I looked at him and said,in one of the rare moments pre sobriety, "I don't know." A few years ago I found that minister's email address and wrote him about that conversation. I'm still left speechless trying to describe grace but I can recognize it when it pours over me like rain. And give thanks.

6 comments:

steveroni said...

Yep, I'll keep praying for rain!

Owen said...

"Grace is the smell of rain." As I read your post I thought of that line from on of The Lost Dogs CD from a few years back.

Here's the full lyric if you're interested link

Owen said...

P.S. just for accuracies sake, the song was originally on the critically acclaimed album Motorcycle by the infamous and personally beloved band Daniel Amos (or DA). Terry Scott Taylor is a part of both bands and the writer of the song.

Prayer Girl said...

We'll be having a "Night of Reconciliation" a week from this coming Wednesday. It is a blessed and beautiful night. I'm sure the church will be filled with God's graces. I look forward to it.

Blessings and prayers to you, Hope -
Prayer Girl

Mary Christine said...

So, you were one of the fellow travelers down this road yesterday. How nice.

Hope said...

Owen - how weird there are song lyrics that say that. You know when I typed that phrase about grace and rain I just about went back and deleted it because it popped out of nowhere. :)