Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Wow. Third post in one day.
Must mean it's time to get off the computer!
I read this originally on recovering wino's blog and wanted to remember it so am posting it here. I recognize myself in all of these although I am grateful that many of them are not my default setting anymore, which is a very hopeful thing:

from Leonard Jacobson's website..

"Childhood Choices

We made choices in early childhood, which were appropriate then, but are not appropriate now, and yet they continue to govern our experience of life at an unconscious level. It would be wise to review those choices made in childhood.
Here is a list of choices typically made when we were very young. Can you identify the choices you made and the consequences that you might still be living with because of these early choices?

I choose to repress the feeling of hurt because it is too much to bear.

I choose to repress the feeling of anger because of a fear of punishment.

I choose to protect my heart, by shutting down to love.

I choose to give up asking for what I want, because I believe I won't get it.

I choose to disconnect from my needs, because I believe they will not be met.

I choose to hide myself from others, because I am afraid of their judgment or disapproval.

I choose not to speak out because no one listens.

I choose to blame as a way of avoiding responsibility.

I choose to live with resentment rather than forgive and release myself from the past.

I choose to be a victim in the hope that someone will rescue me.

I choose to avoid trying because of the fear of failure.

I choose to judge others because I feel judged.

I choose to judge others because it gives me a feeling of power.

I choose to not acknowledge others, because I feel unacknowledged.

I choose to not attend to others because I feel unattended to.

I choose to be in my mind because I am seeking a solution there.

I choose to be in my mind, because I am seeking to escape there.

I choose to be in my mind, because I am hoping to find someone there.

I choose to please or take care of others as a way of being accepted or included.

I chose to energetically withdraw as a way of protecting myself from being hurt.

I choose to be angry or aggressive as a way of gaining control.

I choose to seek attention, acknowledgement and recognition as a substitute for love and acceptance.

What are the consequences that flow from these choices? You would wise to bring these choices to consciousness, review them and revise them."


Cat said...

This is a good one - I can see why you held onto it - I am going to copy and past it to my email and use it as a good reminder.

Thank you for posting this!

Anonymous said...

excellent reminders. Thanks Hope.


Prayer Girl said...

That was me. That was me. That was me.

Thank God for recovery ....recovery in Alcoholics Anonymous and recovery in Al-Anon.

Most of those choices learned in childhood have changed for me. I am able to make choices that are healthier, more satisfying, and I am happier.


Owen said...

"I choose to give up asking for what I want, because I believe I won't get it."

That about says it.

Pru said...

Wow, that is quite the list. Too many of those I am still figuring out...but change is happening. I speak out more now, at least...

Lisa said...

hmm... that's going to take some pondering, and will likely be linked or re-posted from my own blog, so I can remember it too...