Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. I've been giving a lot of thought to Lent. Had I been raised with Lent or even known about it in some periods of my life Lent would have meant a chance to reform my whole life in one fell swoop...chasing after that elusive perfection in order to feel acceptable in my own skin. I am grateful for the sanity these days that helps me accept who I am in all my imperfections. I don't have to change anything for God to feel any different about me. He loves me as is, always has, always will. I haven't always believed that but today I am graced with believing it in my heart.
There are many little routines in my day that I'm going to miss these next 40 days. Giving them up will more than anything help me have more awareness about how I spend my time and where my focus has been. One of the changes I'm trying is to be online only as long as it takes me to sit in front of my SAD Lightbook in the mornings. I think I will be an even better speed reader as I try to read blogs, check FB and check email all in 15 minutes. Oh, and try to actually post something once in a while.
When I am really pressed for time these four recovery blogs get read first. Before the internet I had no way of knowing what working the steps of AA looked like elsewhere. I live pretty remote, having a choice of one meeting most days and on some days, two that I can attend in the closest city which is 50 miles from home. I appreciate all the experience, strength and hope I get to absorb from reading these blogs and others.
Today I feel grateful for what a great life I get to live.