"The snoring I can get used to but not the flailing of arms while you sleep...."
The woman's voice fades as it competes for attention with the sound of of clanking cutlery and waiters taking drink orders. I look up and if I turn my head to the right I can see her in a booth directly in my line of vision. The restaurant is dark and her face is illuminated only by the lamp hanging above their table. Her guy has his back to me and I never do get a glimpse of him. I notice her petite frame, how her blonde hair and fair complexion are complimented by the downy pink blouse she is wearing. Honest to God when I hear people carry on this way and see that their partner doesn't just up and walk out I wonder to myself if the sex is that worth it? I mean, really?
I turn back to my food and realize it was her voice I'd heard earlier when she ranted about getting a text message from a guy she'd dated twice over two years ago. She had a whine to her voice that made me wonder why he'd send her a text message this long after the fact?
As dearest one and I eat our supper her voice fades in and out.
Eventually I hear her start a list of things the guy needs to work on.
Number one is that he needs to try to snore less.
Yes. You got that right.
Try. To. Snore. Less.
"I'll get right on it," I imagine him replying.
I never do get to hear him talk.
I wonder what the rest of her list is.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The next time I hear her voice she is telling him
with just a slight hint of a threat
that if he doesn't start snoring less
they'll have to sleep in separate bedrooms after they get married.
She's been talking to him like he is a child
every time her voice rises above the din.
Oh. My. Dear. Woman.
I wonder how long she's been trying to get used to the snoring.
From her first sentence up there at the beginning of this post
I thought maybe they'd only spent a night or two together so far.
And here she is planning a wedding and bedrooms and snore control.
As if there is such a thing.
I so want to walk over there
and ask him if he is out of his mind.
What the hell is he doing listening to a woman
tell him to stop snoring so much?
I want to tell him to run for the hills.
I so want to shake her silly.
And ask her how well does she love.
Because in the end it never comes down
to snoring or flailing your arms.
It just doesn't.
Sometimes it starts there but it never ends there.
Oh. My. Dear. Woman. How. Well. Do. You. Love?