Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Way Too Fuzzy

I keep thinking that I'll write a post when I'm not so darn tired. Dearest one and I used to have a joke that we would spend time together in 1992. Then that year came and went. So waiting for something to change isn't the answer. Showing up is. I'm having more days with less spoons lately. I do hope that changes soon.

I'm hedging my bets that I'm going to graduate from reading glasses to all day glasses today after my eye exam. I've been waiting for this appointment since June. Not that it's so hard to get an appointment but that's about the time I realized that without my reading glasses some things were way too fuzzy. Oh, couldn't I make an analogy of that sentence?! Insurance only pays for eye exams every two years so I had to wait until today to make it past that 2 year mark.

Youngest son and I deactivated our social networking accounts while we were on the phone together last night. Let's see how bad the withdrawal is, for me anyway. Our decision followed a lengthy chat about relationships and the false sense of depth to them when we know what someone is doing but not how they are doing. Sometimes I wonder if blogging can be like that, too. I've been having those what's the point of this again? conversations within myself about blogging lately. I still can't tell you what the point is but here I am anyway.

Dearest one is still home recuperating from surgery. I am missing commuting back and forth to work with him. It feels like a much longer drive when I'm traveling solo. We used to dream of working at the same place, different departments. What we have is so close to that we can hardly believe it some days. My office is less than a five minute walk to his. I have this pair of shoes that make a nice clicking sound as I walk. I am embarrassed, but not too much obviously, to admit how much I like that sound. Maybe it's because I spent my whole childhood trying to make as little noise as possible so I wouldn't get noticed and therefore not get in the line of fire.

Tired or not, there's lots to be grateful for today. Shoes, work, relationships, choices, sleep, eyesight. You.

Photo Credit


Lisa said...

so glad for the little things to be thankful for. And thankful you're still blogging and sharing your thoughts :)

steveroni said...

Today, I'm going to conserve my spoons, that's for SURE!

Hope, I don't know how I lost track of you, but as I was re-reading Andrew's last posting (June 2010) I saw your comment, and clicked: voila!

It IS heartwarming to know that you share (used) one of your spoons to blog this.

I too left Face Book in July...went through all the hoops to become a 'delete', a 'reject' and even now, months later I receive (from F/B) invitation to become friends with someone I never heard of before. At least, we do not have to respond!

Keep on clicking those heels, and counting your daily spoons, and thanks for staying in here blogging away!

Steve E

Dianne said...

You inspire readers, don't doubt that, this isn't trite. I look ahead and see one day when I can help others and that moves me forward. I have a spoon for my friend with 2nd diagnosis of breast cancer today.

Spooning with those in my physical world,

Beth said...

And you. I am grateful for you.

Andrew said...

I don't write much anymore since I am so darned tired all the time also. This ongoing fatigue is not a good place to be. Still trying to deal with it medically and spiritually and have faith that it will be resolved.

I avoided having to wear glasses for a while too, but decided seeing right was worth the inconvenience.

CiCi said...

Sometimes when we are straining to see clearly it too adds to the tired feeling. Hubby and I weren't into Facebook very long before we both said we really did not care for it. We shut down Facebook and also MySpace. Life is much better now. We can email and stay in touch with those we want to and we maintain our boundaries.

Unknown said...

Brilliant blog. I too am on a networking site, I use it for that for my other mediums and creative endeavors, my blog is so personal, it is a journal, I am maybe one of the bloggers who really doesn't have a false sense of closeness with those in the blogershpere and no one has been false or too close with me, so I don't feel too out of it with that...then again maybe I just really give off a "stay back vibe' who knows really.

I wear glasses all the time...they can be fun too!! :-)

I love your gratitude and the fact of seeing your DH close each day...

xo G

Peter said...

For me, at the end of the day, blogging is the only truly worthwhile social network to have. It invites thinking and sharing in depth which none of the others, especially Twitter, do. I read your blog for the above positive reasons, Hope.