Monday, November 07, 2005

Believe In You

A fresh powdering of snow graces the landscape as I type. It's been several days since the temperatures rose above freezing. This is the first winter of my adult life that I am accepting its coming. Not quite celebrating it, but accepting it. Life cannot be all about springtime and summer. That sounds like such a sappy mantra but I think I get it now. Without the change of seasons none of them would seem so glorious. Learning to accept the season I am in instead of hankering after another one, could be one of the reasons I am content despite the weather. I am learning just a bit what it looks like to live in this moment only. Oh, I do look over the sides of the boat to the distant shores but am content with the here and now. At least for today. I've cried more lately than I have in a long time. Tears that are welcomed as part of the season I am in. On the flip side I have laughed more too. I am full of hope. Hope that as the ground is freezing around me my emotions are thawing like it's springtime.

My husband loves music. Give him a song that has depth and he is happy. Sometimes words fail him. It's not unusual for him to put on a song to say something to me. He gets it that life is about relationships. As I was sitting here typing the other day he reached over my shoulder to put on this song by Amanda Marshall.

Amanda Marshall
Believe In You
Written by - Marshall & Bazilian
From - Tuesday's Child

Somewhere there's a river
Looking for a stream
Somewhere there's a dreamer
Looking for a dream
Somewhere there's a drifter
Trying to find his way
Somewhere someone's waiting
To hear somebody say

I believe in you
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all I want to do is help you to
Believe in you

Somewhere someone's reaching
Trying to grab that ring
Somewhere there's a silent voice
Learning how to sing
Some of us can't move ahead
We're paralyzed with fear
And everybody's listening
'Cause we all need to hear


I will hold you up
I will help you stand
I will comfort you when you need a friend
I will be the voice that's calling out

I believe in you
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all I want to do is show you
I believe in you
And there are just so many ways that
I believe in you
Baby, what else can I do but believe in you...believe in you
All I want to know is you you

This is a man who has believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself. He is a man I believe in when he can't believe in himself. Sometimes we lose all hope and can't believe in each other or ourselves. Tears fell as I listened to this song this morning. Half of the month my husband works out of town in an ER ward and today is one of those days. He sees so many people on a daily basis who have no one to believe in them.

So for my dear dreamer and drifter from one who was paralyzed with fear: I believe in you.

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