Saturday, October 23, 2010

Sorting It Out

Today I sat in the parking lot before my AA meeting and just about put the car in reverse and left. I've never had such a strong resistance to going in. Thankfully a few things came to mind. One - that when you least feel like going to a meeting you should go and two - I've never regretted going to a meeting. So in I went.

I had sorted it out in the parking lot why I had such a strong resistance and I'll be hashing that out with my sponsor. I appreciate that she will tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. It's why I asked her to be my sponsor in the first place. She loves me whole heartedly and will not baby me one little bit. She has the biggest heart and a humble spirit. Her bullshit detector is keen.

I am grateful though, that AA is a place where I can go and tell my truth. Today I felt resistance to being here. I sat out there and just about didn't come in. If it wasn't for what I've heard around these tables time and time again I might have put the car in reverse and driven away.

I am grateful for a place to be fully human and still loved.

6 comments:

Peaceful Pandemonium said...

I'm so glad you went in.

Andrew said...

Sometimes it is good to follow ones head rather than the feelings.

After all, we do have brains to use. It seems to me that you used yours in this instance.

Patty said...

Thanks for sharing this, thanks for stopping by my blog, and thank you for being there for me when I needed you. I am so grateful for the part you have played in my journey. Thank you so much Hope!

TechnoBabe said...

Good for you. Recognize your feelings, acknowledge them, and make wise choices.

aka the Mom said...

I'm so glad that you went in. Please continue to take care of you.

Black Pete said...

And that's a possession beyond any price.