Monday, February 09, 2009

Questions Anyone?

Lucy has this delightful meme on her blog and I jumped up and down and asked for questions. Here's how it works. I read Lucy's blog about this exercise. I asked to be interviewed. Lucy sent me the following five questions, which will be answered in this post.'s your turn. If you want to play, either on the comment section to this post, or in an email to me, just let me know you would like to be interviewed. I will then dream up some questions with whatever info about you I can gain from your blog or other sources that you give me. Hopefully you'll have fun exploring the questions on your blog. So, here are the questions Lucy posed to me and my answers:

#1. Your 'wildly perfect place' post touched me deeply. It was written nearly five years ago. Can you articulate today, what your relationship with "perfectionism" is? How do you define perfect for you?

I am much easier on myself today than when I wrote that post. Back then I was just beginning to break free from the grips of perfectionism. I think self acceptance is directly related to how perfectionistic I am in the moment. When self loathing is not my friend then perfectionism isn't either. When self loathing is front and center then perfectionism knocks at my door. There was a time when perfectionism was a warm blanket feeling to me. Striving for it made me feel better about myself. Today when I feel perfectionism nipping at my heels it is a warning bell that something is off within me. I used to spend so much energy trying to arrange life so that I could be at peace within myself. It never delivered what it promised, no matter how hard I tried. That didn't stop me from trying though. Today I have a much deeper sense that who I am, in this moment, is enough. Being at peace is as near a definition of perfection as I can put into words.

#2. Tell me about your little angel you use for your moniker. Do you have other angels in your life?

That little angel is from Willow Tree's collection of angels. I don't remember who bought it for me, or if I bought it for myself, but I have a collection of their angels which I have around my home. They have almost all been gifts.

When I was 10 years old I went to a Salvation Army Bible Camp. I remember not wanting to leave. It was my first memory of ever crying in front of others, for reasons that had nothing to do with being hurt, but tears of repentance. One night when everyone was asleep I saw an angel up in the rafters. The next morning I told many of the adults there what I'd seen but none of them believed me. Years later God reminded me of that time. A few years ago I had an experience with an angel. I was freaked out about a situation I was in, had even asked Fr. Charlie for some holy water before hand (he told me, half jesting, that if anything weird happened not to call him!) To make a long story short, I saw an angel come stand before me and its wing unfolded and covered me from head to toe, as Psalm 91:4 came to mind.

#3. Your list of movies is fabulous (in my humble opinion.) So, what's your favorite scene in "Love Actually?" Your favorite characters? Or, if you like, why is it one of your favorite movies?

I had to go look for the movie on youtube to find my favourite scene as I don't own my own copy of this movie. My favourite scene is after Emma Thompson has opened, what she thought would be a gold necklace, only to find a CD by Joni Mitchell (Joni and I share the same hometown.) Emma Thomspon then goes to the bedroom and the line "I've looked at love from both sides now." plays from Joni's CD. That scene sums up so many of the pivotal points in life. That moment when what you think is reality is shown to be something else and it forces you to reevaluate your whole life.

# 4. I loved this question in my interview, so here it is for you: If you wrote a play about your life and it was performed who would you want to play the leading lady?

When I read this on your blog I thought about it for myself and Meryl Streep came to mind right away. There have been times in my life when people have said I bear a slight resemblance to her. I also like that she doesn't seem to take the whole celebrity stuff to heart too much. She is ordinary which I like. I would want someone to play me who was gritty, who had a little edge to them. I had a saleslady help me last week who spoke in a false nice nice voice and it nearly drove me batty. I left the store wondering how much unresolved anger she had stuffed deep down inside. I was her once upon a time.

I've seen myself played in a stage play and have no wish to do so again, although in all fairness it was one chunk of my life played out on stage, and as I type this I am remembering how much healthier it is not to reject any part of my life. I'm still working on that.

#5 If you had only one quote to describe the true essence of you, what would it be?

"The unexamined life is not worth living."


Lisa said...

I'll play :) send some questions my way.

Pru said...

I'll play too - unless you think the fun is out, seeing as I am your daughter and all.
And I can't believe you don't have your own copy of Love Actually. That will have to be have an anniversary coming up, as I recall...

steveroni said...

LOVE it...and I'll play, if you don't get too bogged down with others...
Steve E.

(E-mails don't count--RIGHT??? -grin)

annie said...

Interesting answers, Hope. How sad to have seen an angel as a child, and not to have any of the adults believe you.

Heidi Renee said...

me please (both blogs if you want??)

Thicket Dweller said...

If you're up to it, I'll play. :-)

And, by the way, the perfectionist thing really struck a chord with me. I'd like to know what happened or what you did/do to help yourself be at peace. That whole line between excellent/perfectionism/striving/self-loathing/competition/contentment is very hard for me to define/find.

Cat said...

Loved reading about you!

steveroni said...

Ch, did you turn off 'comments' on blog "Driven Up The Wall"??

I really had something 'important' to write -BIG grin!!!
Steve E.

lucy said...

hope - i am so touched by your answers. they are really beautiful and i would love to see meryl streep playing this gritty woman with a big heart!! who do you think would play you as a little girl at camp? what/who would the angel look like?

once i start asking questions, i might not be able to stop!!

thanks for playing!!! xoxoxo