Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Grace Filled Courage

I am grateful that most nights I sleep right through the night.
That makes this night of insomnia easier to accept.

I am grateful that the weather is spring like.
The road is too icy to walk on but
the temperature is so full of hope.
My mood is lifting with the weather.
I tend to beat myself up for the weather affecting me.
Try as I might I simply am not grateful
when it's between 30 and 45 below zero.
Well, grateful to be alive and in a warm house, yes,
and for many other things,
but not grateful that it's cold.

Next week dearest one and I will celebrate
27 years together.
We eloped, sort of.
Phoned our folks and told them:
"We're getting married next Friday and we're not inviting anyone."
We stumbled through our vows.
Forgot that we needed rings.
I promised to take dearest one as my awful wedded husband.
We dared not glance at each other at that point.
We would have had uncontrollable fits of laughter.
That's what happens when you get married as a teenager.

This past year has had us dig deeper than ever
into our issues.
At times they seem to be a bottomless pit.
The good news is that both of us have taken ownership
of stuff we have long pointed fingers at each other about.
You know, that old lie - "if only you would (change, grow up, do it my way, lighten up and on and on).....then I would (be happy, be nice, be responsible, be much easier to live with and other such nonsense)....."

Courage is the word I would use to describe this past year.
We've both had more courage than we ever thought possible.

Boy, I never planned on writing about my marriage
when I sat down to type.
But I'd glanced at the calendar and saw my anniversary date
highlighted in red and some days
that's all it takes for my thoughts to go sideways.
I am no expert on marriage, that's for sure.
But I am grateful for the almost 27 years that is my reality.


Anonymous said...

Forgive this tired old saying but time sure does fly doesn't it? (Except when you can't sleep, that is)


Gabriella Moonlight said...

Wow what a miracle of 27 years and pretty funny on the "awfully wedded husband/wife" LOL!

Thank you for your sharing of this, it is hopeful to know that through it all love can have some form of hold in us and can bring us to our senses in the most amazing and fulfilling manners.


Cat said...

27 years is huge Hope - congrats to you both!!! I am in awe of your success!

Mary Poppins NOT said...

May God grant you many more years in peace, health and happiness. You inspire me!

steveroni said...

Hope, what beautiful stories you have in memory--to pass along to us. Thank you.

I sailed back to July 2, 2007 your blog titled "C'est moi" in which you describe you thoughts of God, to a feather pillow bursting, with feathers everytwhere.

The question became, should you try to gather all those feathers and put them back? OR maybe just dance among them in (the present moment)...More descriptive of ME and GOD I don't know how it could EVER be.
Steve E.

Prayer Girl said...

Hope - Your post is full of "Hope".
How beautiful that with the guidance of our beloved program, we can change, grow, and find deeper love than we ever thought possible.

Married since teens - WOW! Congratulations!

daisymarie said...

A February anniversary? So do we, on the 17th we will celebrate 30 years. Some have really been rough, but oh what we've learned. This past year we've learned how to ask for what we need and want...it's not always easy, but wow, what a diff it's made!

Jim said...

Twenty-seven annual rotations is no small matter in gender cohabitation, God's greatest lesson in learning that we are not the most important thing in life. My middle daughter eloped; my oldest, after their vows, dipped her husband backwards in her arms and kissed him (planned for a laugh, of course); and when the minister asked "who gives this woman in marriage", referring to my youngest girl, I replied I wasn't sure I liked the term "giving her away" and said I would, however, share her with the young man....

Congratulations on your marital milestone, my friend...