"I can either run from this experience in fear or I can let it transform me. We are called to be transformed into the image and likeness of Christ. How else can it happen?"
Those are my words, spoken several times through this experience to different people in my life. Once to the surgeon between heaving sobs. If you've ever been laid bare by life's circumstances you know the bitter sweet place of utter pain and potential beauty residing within you simultaneously.
I have not cried in several weeks. I haven't liked the hardness that has seemed to be settling within me. This morning, listening to this weekend's offering reduced me to tears. Good and healing tears that feel wrenched from me at great price.
4 comments:
I'm grateful that you continue to share this experience. I understand this feeling (right this moment) at such a level of reality that it hurts. The hardness. I want to have tears, but the hardness set in and it was like I've lost the ability to feel. I guess that's God ... giving me a fearlessness... but it feels odd.
As much as tears are good, I try to avoid them. I am glad your tears were healing.
I found your blog less than a week ago and I'm about to copy and "quote" you on my facebook page. All I do is write "Hope" as the author. Thank you! For this. It's so true! How else will we be like Him?
Dear Hope,
for different reasons I am very much in a place where the words, "lean into the pain (disappointment, suffering, fear, etc)" are at the forefront of my experience. I heard these words again in a TED talk just two days ago. It made me think of you as well as myself.
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