Like A Dog On A Leash

It's been several years since we stayed up until midnight on New Year's Eve.
My body is protesting this morning although I haven't been to bed before midnight for a week already so it most likely is trying to tell me enough is enough; get some sleep woman.

I used to make gigantic lists for New Year's.
Last year I caught myself making a list of 50 things
I wanted to accomplish this year.
I looked at it the other day.
I still don't have that pair of red shoes.
I'm glad I no longer need to consult a list to see how I am doing.

Obsessive list making for me usually means
insanity is lurking around the corner
or at least control freakism is rampant.
I am okay as is.
If I can't be okay with me today
no list in the world will change that.
I forget that sometimes.

I know what I need to do on a daily basis
to keep sane.
I know what works.
I know when I don't do those things
the journey gets bumpy.
Well, sometimes the journey gets bumpy
because that's life.
At the very least,
I know I will be okay despite circumstances,
when I do those things
that keep me sane.
There is always more to learn,
More fine tuning.

I don't have to strive to make that happen
like a dog on a leash
trying to drag its master farther along the path.
I just have to be open, honest and willing.