Seeping Through

Dearest one and I live in a 35 year old house trailer.
It's not going to last another 35 years.
We're looking at what to do when we replace it.
Looking at our values, what's important to us.
At this point in our lives we don't want to
accumulate a huge amount of debt.
Originally we hoped to replace it with a 10 year old trailer.
But the rise in real estate prices here
make their price tag not much different
than a brand new one.

We've talked about building a house.
Do most of the work oursleves.
Do we want the stress of that?
And the cost?

We don't have to make a decision overnight.
Which is a nice position to be in.
But with 2x4 walls and windows that rattle
when the washer does its spin cycle
eventually we need to do something.
Back up heat with a wood stove is nearly
a necessity in our harsh winters.

I heard someone say
values aren't believed,
they're lived.
That sentiment has stuck with me.
What I live is what I believe.
Neither have I been so challenged
to look at what I'm living
since hearing the Gospel preached
Sunday after Sunday these past 3 years.

I was hashing this all out
with my mom last night.
What to do. What to do.
At one point I told her
that when a person dies
it really doesn't matter
what kind of house they lived in.
She replied that people don't think like that anymore.
Not that it was a new thought to her
only an old thought renewed.

I remember going to a home
a good 15 years ago
that was ramshackle.
Yellowed newspapers piled 3 feet high.
Plywood floors.
Old, old worn out furniture.
Part of me felt repulsed.
Yet as I was feeling that
the thought came into my head,
"love lives here."
The people knew how to love.
They lived it.
I knew it.
There was no cutesy little wooden sign over the door
that announced 'love lives here'
love simply seeped through their pores
and into ones soul.

My soul.