My best birthday present of all time was an orange banana seat bike when I turned nine. My grandma watched me ride around and around the yard until I finally found my balance and rode
It's been a quiet, but good day. For so many years I wanted the hoopla to come and surround me and I was always disappointed when it didn't. This year, the hoopla is in my heart. This quiet knowing that I count. It's the first year I've ever experienced that. On my birthday, I mean. The pressure I've put on others over the years to reassure me that I matter, especially on this day, must have felt like I was trying to suck the very life out of them. How do you satisfy a soul whose hunger is never ending? Who is trying to get life from another life instead of from the Source? Very difficult. Impossible. Ack. This quiet knowing that I count is a gift all of its own.
I do have 100 birthday buckaroos wearing a hole in my pocket though. If you only knew how difficult it is for me to spend money on me. There's a mulitude of different places I could spend it. Indecision and hand wringing will most likely occur before I part ways with it. I am a hoarder by nature. It's hard for me to trust that I won't lack. I've spent so much energy convinced it was up to me to arrange life so that I wouldn't. Kind of like, OMG if I spend this $100 on me, the well will dry up and we will starve to death. That's me and money. Including birthday gift money. Sigh.
Maybe I need to go for a bike ride until I find my balance again.
The last time I heard the term "belly button birthday" was from a friend of Bill W's--the same man I mentioned in an earlier response who went rehab and truly recovered.
Happy happy Hopey.
Birthday money? And you hate spending money on yourself huh??? I have two words for you, DAY SPA! That way you won't buy something and hoard it, but you will be treating you and only you to some special time. You deserve it girl!
oh ya, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
Happy birthday, (((Hope!!!))) Wow, you were a little one!
P.S. love the new look
Going for a bike ride is always good for the soul. Happy B day girl and God bless you in the coming year. Your friend in the south of the province.
Surely the greatest gift this year is peace. Wow!
Happy birthday, girl!!
Happy Birthday, Hope!
Happy Birthday Hope! God's blessings to you.
Happy Birthday, Hope. May the Lord bless you with many more birthdays! And may each one be happy. (((hugs)))
Love you lots.
A Not So Anonymous Friend
Happy Birthday, ma'am! Good to read of peace in your heart.....
A very happy birthday, with warmest wishes for a hopeful year ahead.
how the HELL did i miss your birthday?
gosh, i am so sorry hope!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY dear friend!
love you so much!
I think that 'quiet knowing' thing is a gift from God in our forties. I got there, too.
Enjoy every cent.
Oh my dear one! I'm so sorry I missed your special day. I hope you find a wonderfully and completely indulgent way to spend your green....just consider it an investment in your mental health!!!
Post a Comment