Worth It

It's worth it. All the hard work, the willingness to face the pain, the turning away and then being given the grace to face it again, more times than I care to remember. Worth it. Notice I didn't say it was always fun. Or that I'd be first line for more torture. But seeing the results in the relationships in my life. Worth every swear word, tear, struggle, strain and prayer.

Yesterday I told Father Charlie about being able to receive from dearest one the love he has been giving me all these years. In choosing (and being graced with the courage) of not putting my walls up, like an invisible power window to my soul, I received what was being given and for the first time I was able to give something back. Something that came from the core of who I am. Father Charlie said to me, "It's very life giving isn't it?" I went to say, "yes" when the gratitude for knowing what it feels like to live without the walls was so overwhelming that my yes got swallowed up in tears.

I don't feel any pressure to hang onto what is because I didn't create it. But I have to say I am appreciating and loving it for the gift that it is. Putting one foot in front of another (thanks Peter) gets a person farther along in the journey. Thanks be to God.