Showing Up

I realized last night as I was going to bed that by writing on here everyday I am finally doing something I said I would do. Write. I have a shelf full of writing books - I'm betting every one of them says that a writer should write every day. I always meant to. Honest. For years I have written in journals. But that is different. That is the place for me to get out every thought, good or bad so that I can get on with my day.

I remember one time listening to my daughter practice her violin. Up and down the strings she went - practicing scales. It was the first thing she did every time she practiced. One day I realized that writing was no different than playing an instrument. You had to practice the fundamentals before you could do anything else. The thought scared me. I have never been very good at commitments. They have always scared me too. Showing up for the page everyday is a commitment that I have avoided for 25 years. I wanted to play in the orchestra without ever practicing scales.

So for today I choose to show up. For me. It's a pleasant surprise that I can do it. The hardest thing has been to let go of not 'playing in the orchestra' from the get-go. To practice the craft in public without even tuning the instrument is a huge step. But if it is the only way I am going to get to the orchestra then so be it. For today I choose to show up. Hurray!