Friday, May 08, 2009

I Get To...

When I'm doing yoga the pugs think I'm a trampoline.
They take advantage of me lying in a pose and try to clean out my ears for me.
Then they decide my belly would make a great jumping on and off point.
They are persistent.
I decided this morning not to get cross with them,
I was at the tail end of the session anyway.
So I sat up and rough housed with them for a few moments
and then got up and made my breakfast.

I'm off to town today to buy groceries.
Buying groceries is a privilege.
Not too many years ago we were regulars at the food bank.
We went months without tasting a piece of fruit.
I missed it.
The summer we were once again bringing in an income
a fresh peach never tasted so good.

The last time I was in the grocery store
I didn't go very far when I realized
they had changed every single flipping aisle.
I went up and down the aisles grumbling out loud
about how stupid it was, among other things,
to put pickles across from potato chips.
And why would they have kleenex in one aisle
and paper towels and toilet paper in another?
Eventually my whining got old even to myself and I shut up.

I imagine today I will feel no less irritated
when I see in what ridiculous ways
the aisles have been rearranged.
The store proudly announces when you walk in
that it's now a more efficient shopping experience.
Not.

Because I get to choose my attitude
I'm going to keep front and center
that buying groceries is a privilege.
I get to buy groceries.
I get to do a whole lot in life.

Today is the fifth anniversary
of dearest one's brother's death.
Five years ago today it was snowing.
He laid on the ground all day covered with a white hospital blanket
until the police were done their investigation.
Dearest one and I and all his family walked past his body
on the way to the house where we gathered in disbelief.
It still seems surreal this many years later.
Not sure why the police lifted the yellow tape
and let us walk past his body.
It was his death and the life circumstances we were facing at the time
that cemented in me that God is with us in our pain.
Because of his death I know that whatever life throws my way
I am not left alone to deal with it.
I believe Jesus hunkers down beside me
and is with me in it,
weeping as I weep,
whether I can feel his presence or not.
If you could lift up dearest one and his family in prayer today
that would be greatly appreciated.
This day doesn't seem to get any less painful
no matter how much time has passed.
Thank you.

7 comments:

Gin said...

I loved this post. You said "Thank you" at the end of it, but it is I that should be thanking you my friend. Your blogs always lift me up, even when they are about something sad because you always put a positive spin on it. Thank YOU.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Hope I agree with Gin in regards to us thanking you for your amazing posts and your uplifting and most well articulated posting of what the journey of life is about...
Thank YOU!!!!

Hugs,
G

Owen said...

"Buying groceries is a privilege." Thank you for this reminder.

Steve E. said...

Yes, it is also my thanks I'm throwing in with Gabi and Gin today. We are all in a "family" it seems to me, and although I am young here with you, the learning I have experienced by doing the things you and the peeps suggest. And I am so grateful. And I feel for your loss, even though time has passed...a loss which is irreplaceable never becomes other than a loss.

Blessings to you!

Evelyn said...

Prayers ascending.....

truewonder said...

I have tumbled on over from Evelyn's blog, she thinks the world of you. And then I see you speak of grief- sad to say, I am a bit of an expert in the field of sorrow. The road of grief, the million miles one must travel, on one's knees seems to be the best route to take. Grace to you on those days of days that feel too heavy to carry-

Speak his name, whisper if you must- the stories.
I will listen,
I am here...
I remember too.

Peace and gentle strength to you, take care-
Terry aka truewonder

Eli said...

I hope you got through the anniversary day alright.

I love hearing about your pugs. My little guys always kiss my face when I try to do situps. It's hard to do crunches when you're laughing.