Tuesday, June 17, 2008


The energizer bunny is sleeping at my feet. She spent the 5 minutes before that barking at an imaginary enemy down the hallway. I had to open a bedroom door so she could tentatively peek and reassure herself that no enemy lived within. Youngest son's room does look like a warzone at times though. Well, then again, so does mine.

Yesterday my in-laws came over to work in our garden. They have just a little raised garden bed now and were happy when we offered to plant potatoes here for them. Yesterday they came to hill them and do a bit of weeding, something my mother-in-law especially enjoys. She with leukemia and he with congestive heart failure and there they were each with a hoe, enjoying a sunny afternoon in the garden. I picked weeds by hand, putting them in a 5 gallon bucket to throw over the fence. 15 gallons later the garden was weeded. I even found the Lavatera which had germinated despite the competition from the rag weed.

All that weeding means I have less spoons today than normal. Bending over to weed still takes a lot out of me. More than I realized. I have nearly 20% of my blood volume bypassing picking up oxygen as it does the loop and when I bend over my lungs protest and beg for air. Well, they don't beg for it until after I go horizontal so overnight they went into overdrive and are protesting as I type. Breathing deep hurts and makes me cough. I had hope to resume walking and yoga today but I think a day on the couch is going to be the wisest choice I can make.

Dearest one has a final exam tonight. He could use some prayer. Going to school plus teaching full time has left him feeling exhausted. The worst/best of it is that this will continue to be his reality as he was awarded a tenure track position this spring. That means he has 3 years to complete his Master's degree and then he'll receive tenure. On top of all that he is working hard on inner issues which he says is more exhausting than school and work combined. He is one courageous man. He's in a place where it's too late to stop the momentum of inner work/growth yet has days when the new awareness is so painful he'd like to erase the forward movement he's made if only to take a momentary breather. He's goes on a work related trip later this week and gets to see only daughter as a bonus.

Energizer bunny is now snoring gently at my feet. It's time to join her. Not in sleeping on the floor, mind you, but in sleeping. It's only 8:30 am. My body is screaming at me to pay attention and get some rest. I am grateful that spoonless posts are not the norm anymore, although they have been in the picture more often of late. This too shall pass.

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