I wondered what my goal in life was. Did I think it was to get rid of all vices? Whas that what being Christ-like looked like? Somehow I didn't think so.
I am sick to death of feeling broken. Fix me Repair Man, please. My pride can't take being such a mess of humanity. I thought about being in an AA meeting and how people are simply unapologetic for where they are on the journey. I long for that reality to sink deep enough into my soul that I never lose sight of it. I want the cleaned up, polished fake journey much of the time. Not that I do that well either. Part of the reason I didn't post the other day was that I was simply sick of hearing myself talk about the same stuff over and over again. I wanted progress.
This morning I picked up my current read [hat tip to poor mad peter and sue] only to read these words,
"You're worth more broken."
I buried my face in a pillow and sobbed.