I spent several hours on the phone yesterday with a woman who's been pivotal in my conversion journey, someone who has travelled alongside me for over 25 years.
The night before I remembered this friend and how last summer she'd explained a long absence from my life during a most difficult time of her own. She told me that everything she'd believed had been turned upside down and she'd had no words. Ah, I thought, someone who knows what it's like to be rendered mute.
I could barely get the words out through my tears yesterday as I told her I needed her to tell me if the upside downness ends.
I'm pretty sure that that conversation did more for me than any professional help ever will. What a relief to hear someone say that the place I find myself in is not something to fix, but a place to rest in, in order that the work being done in the depths of me can be done.
The night before I remembered this friend and how last summer she'd explained a long absence from my life during a most difficult time of her own. She told me that everything she'd believed had been turned upside down and she'd had no words. Ah, I thought, someone who knows what it's like to be rendered mute.
I could barely get the words out through my tears yesterday as I told her I needed her to tell me if the upside downness ends.
I'm pretty sure that that conversation did more for me than any professional help ever will. What a relief to hear someone say that the place I find myself in is not something to fix, but a place to rest in, in order that the work being done in the depths of me can be done.
3 comments:
That's a good way to look at it. Resting in the uncomfortability of life rather than fighting it.
Ahhhh...I feel as if a great work is going on in me too, and I've not a clue as to how to act sometimes.
I go from scared to knowing to sad to euphoric...and I feel the changes so vividly...transistions are not always the most comfortable places, that's for sure.
Life is strange and can you lead to places you don't want to go. In my own journey I finally reached ground zero and was speechless. I couldn't take about it anymore and lived mostly in silence. It ended the dark times just about the time I accepted it as permanent.
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