And Baby Makes Three, Four, Five

This birthing story made me all teary.
Then it made me think of my own birthing stories.
Sometimes I get all smug that I birthed babies without pain medication.
Then I remember that I didn't create this body
that could go through labour without medication.
So really, I can't take any credit at all.
I need to remember that in so many areas of my life.

I might not have had pain medication but I did come awfully close to chucking dearest one out the window first time around. He made the silly mistake of trying to reach across my labouring belly to shut off the machine's alarm that said I was having a contraction. I grabbed him by the front of his shirt, said some nasty things and pushed him up against the window. Not a good scene. First born, only daughter was ready to be born right when I held up the white flag of surrender and said I'd take some of that pain medication now. Too late. It was time to push her out into the world.

The second time around I told him I was going to have the baby NOW to which he replied,"bullshit" only to have me let out a sound that had them running into the room from beyond the doors. Baby two, oldest son, was born in a labour room without the doctor because baby number two came through that birth canal like a cannon ball through a cannon.

The last time around the doctor told the nurse to call him when I was at a 4 because then he had a chance of getting there in time. I remember going into the bathroom of the birthing room and thinking to myself, I'm enjoying this labour and then reminding myself to never say those words outloud lest someone throw me out the window. After birthing youngest son I started to fade and told dearest one that I was going to faint, he said, "faint then" at which point I told him if I fainted I wasn't coming back. I'd been in a tug of war with a bright light in the corner of the ceilinig for awhile already. I fainted, they called a code, eventually I came to. It took a few more months for me to come to believe. But that birthing experience was the catalyst for that to happen.

When dearest one and I were engaged the doctors told me they couldn't guarantee I'd ever have kids.....my own foolish behaviour had resulted in nasty infections that resulted in fallopian tubes which should have been scarred shut. The first time I got pregnant after I was married I miscarried. We were just staring fertility testing. I remember telling myself that if I never got pregnant again I would always know what it felt like to be a mother for a little while, anyway. I'd miscarried when I was single and would miscarry again in married life. I nearly lost both sons due to miscarriage, too.

Pregnancy is a privilege. So is birthing a baby. Both feel like miracles. Although your own life may be in danger if you tell a labouring mother that. This is where dearest one would chime in and say, "Trust me on that one. I have the scars to prove it."