Purging The System

Dearest one and I met with a funeral home guy yesterday to make arrangements to start pre paying our funerals. Which sounds both morbid and responsible to me. Between that and getting our wills, personal directives and power of attorneys done a few months ago I feel like maybe we are growing up at last.

Remember how much I whine that I'm not a morning person and all that jazz? Well, I am now waking up on days off at ungodly hours and getting up. Dearest one is still sleeping. I guess the difference is that he will be cheerful when he wakes up and I will just be awake.

Communication is a funny thing sometimes. I have a talk to give to a group of women in a week's time. It's not written yet which is uncharacteristic for me. Every time I sit down to write it my mind goes on holiday. As we were going to sleep last night I mentioned this to dearest one. He was not sympathetic. When I pointed that out to him I realized I needed to rephrase what I was trying to tell him. After I did he said, "Oh, you're panicked about it. You said it so calmly the first time that I had no idea you were panicked." After which he informed me he was going to sleep now and we once again joked about sleep purgatory. Which is exactly what happened. I lay awake for another hour while he went right to sleep.

My mom is so funny some days. Yesterday we must have talked for over an hour. At one point I was telling her how much better I am breathing and how much clearer my sinuses are since I stopped eating wheat. How it used to be that I had to have a box of tissues close by when I ate because my nose became a faucet. She said, "My nose runs when I eat, Granny's nose ran when she ate. I thought it was something that happened when a person got old." No, mom, it happens when you have allergies. I left it at that because if it's not my mom's idea first it usually isn't a good idea in her eyes. "Gee, if it's not my mom's idea, it's not a good idea to her. If it's not my idea, it's not a good idea to me. It must be genetic." No, that's ego and pride I tell myself.

In just over a week I am going on a trip to see only daughter. Really, I have several appointments with health specialists but they happen to be in the same city as only daughter. I miss only daughter. It's been 8 months since we've seen each other. It's going to be fun to spend some time together.

I'm taking only daughter my good blue willow dishes. A friend gave them to me quite a few years ago. They are pretty to look at but eating off of blue plates has never appealed to me. They appeal to only daughter. Plus I only use the good dishes a few times a year and while I secretly have a pretty dish fetish, could buy lots of pretty dishes just because they are pretty to look at, it makes no sense to my rational mind to have more than one set of dishes.

Well now that I've got all this out of my head maybe I can write that talk. Dearest one is up and showered and should be sitting beside me as soon as his coffee is brewed. I don't drink coffee. Never have really. Which is a good thing because caffeine makes my heart go beserk and I really don't need another addiction. At AA I've learned to make the coffee but the first time I did, without any help, there was more than one person who asked, "who made this coffee?" It wasn't a compliment.