Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Next Right Thing

Hibernating within the four walls of our home during the cold snap has made it hard to keep track of what day of the week it is. Today it was -26C and I braved going for my walk. I was wrapped up head to toe and while it wasn't exactly enjoyable it was good to get out of the house. It's been 5 days since I've done little more than stick my head out the door to call the dog back in. The cold weather hasn't been any fun for her either but we do know now that she is indeed litter box trained. I never knew such a thing was possible for a dog. I've said thank you many times in my head to the original owner who did all the hard work of training her so that I don't have to.

My food has been totally off this week. I've been snacking my way through the day, feeling like making a meal is a monumental task I just cannot face. At my last appointment my counselor gave me home work having to do with my childhood. It involved framing out a family tree of addictions, abuse and dysfunction as well as drawing a map of the house I grew up in. It was surprising what strong feelings welled up within me as I did each exercise. I realized I felt safe in only one room of the house and that was the dining room. I used to save up stuff to tell my mom at the dining room table as it was the safest place to have a voice without facing a backlash for doing so. That was an interesting piece of the puzzle for me. No wonder food is such a comfort.

Between the extreme cold weather and doing the homework it's been a tough slog this week. When I get shaky in my recovery I find myself going back to basics. Good self care tops the list and from there it's easier to do the next right thing. Little by little I'm integrating good self care back into my daily routine. Putting one foot in front of the can only get better (and warmer!)


Anonymous said...

Wow, Hope. That's a pretty interesting thing you discovered about yourself. Isn't it amazing how it can come out of drawing a plan of your house?

I've been cooped up with the flu since Tuesday so I know what you mean about losing track of the days. To top it off, we're on the 6 day school cycle at work so I had to figure out what in the heck the school day was in order to call a sub. I broke out in a sweat over that one.

Good idea about getting back down to basics.

Anonymous said...

I find I vacillate between forcing myself to do the work this new career requires and avoiding it, like now, hoping it will go away and something magical will happen - God will care enough to provide me an income for doing the things he supposedly really gifted me to do. I remember an old song that talks about being tired of waking up tired.

I should get back to basics but I thought I already had.

Good on you though and peace be with you and your pug pad.

daisymarie said...

Bless your heart! And your nose and toes!!!

Sounds like you've been doing some really hard work. Good self care isn't always easy, but ever so worth it.

Warm hugs to you friend!!!

Sarah Louise said...

Wow that sounds like hard work. Good for you for working at it. And yes, good self care and walks are basics.

I commented on your comment from earlier last week.