Lightening Up

I need a little break. People have often said I'm intense. My dad told me after I became a Christian that I should lighten up a little. He said I was much more fun before all this Jesus fuss. I wanted to remind him that I had been a very fun drunk (most of the time) but I didn't. Drinking is the only way I know to really relax and cut loose. I hope rehab will help me discover fun without the hang over.

All this to say that I got tagged to list 8 random facts about myself and I'm choosing ones that are devoid of seriousness and intensity.

1. When I was growing up a neighbour lady had an out of proportion fear of barn swallows dive bombing her. So much so that one day she came to our house until her husband could come home and get rid of the swallow nest that was above their front door. Her kids ended up with the same fears. I determined not to do that. So the whole time my kids were growing up I pretended to like spiders, bugs, mice and all those things. "Oh, isn't that a cute spider, sure, let it crawl all over my hand." Yes, a person can be screaming inside and calm outside. I did it for years. The end result was that my kids have less freak attacks about those things than they might have had I been left to my own devices. I do think only daughter felt a bit betrayed though when I finally decided, when she was an older teen, I had accomplished what I set out to do and told her that no, I really didn't want to hold her hamster and no it was not cute. This whole story is only funny if you know just how much control it takes not to scream and fuss about those things that really scare the crap out of you. I wonder who the patron saint of phobias is. Last week a big honking spider crawled across the livingroom floor. I did let out a squawk and took a coffee cup and covered it. Then I was too scared to do anything else with it so I left it there for the whole day until dearest one could deal with it. See, I'm no different than my neighbour lady. Although I'd rather have a barn swallow dive bomb me than a spider crawl across my path any day.

2. I did sing that "Itsy, bitsy spider song" to my kids despite my fear of the suckers (the spiders, not the kids). I cannot carry a tune to save my soul. I wonder what age kids are when they figure out their mother cannot sing in tune? This random fact about my not being able to carry a tune is only funny (or sad, depending on your point of view) if you've heard me sing. Sorry kids.

3. Jann Arden, Joni Mitchell, Leonard Cohen, The Bare Naked Ladies and k.d. lang are some of my favourite Canadian Artists who can sing in tune. I'm listening to Dido while I type but I don't think she's Canadian.

4. The farthest east I've travelled in Canada is to Quebec. I went on a student exchange the summers I was 16 and 17. Once to southern Ontario and once to Montreal. My father worked for Beaver Lumber then, which was owned by Molson's. Every summer Molson's sponsored the teenage children of their employees to go on an exchange to another part of the country. It was a privilege to be a part of this. Being a guest in a francophone household really stretched my high school french. Of course, like many teenage girls, the words for boyfriends and important stuff like that was the content of our first foray in speaking one another's language.

5. I am not bilingual much to only daughter's chagrin. When she was younger and tallying up the various heritage between her parents she was so disappointed that not one of the languages that could have been her ticket to bilingualism was in our portfolio of skills. She learned Latin instead.

6. I am a mixture of English, Italian, Danish and Norwegian. My great aunt tried to teach me Norwegian but gave up when I couldn't rrrroll my rrrrr's.

7. I can't roll my tongue either.

8. Or wiggle my ears.