I was dragging my butt all the way to town yesterday. I've been way too busy the past 6 weeks and the thought of being away from home yet another full day didn't thrill me. When my sponsor phoned Friday night to tell me if the weather was shitty in the morning then I shouldn't feel bad about cancelling I secretly hoped the weather would be shitty. It wasn't. So I showed up at her house bright and early and together we went to hear one of these brothers speak on sponsorship. I prayed on the way to my sponsor's house that I would be open to what God had for me. I made a commitment not to whine about how busy I have been. There's part of me that wants to say to overly busy people when they complain about it, "so what?" and then there's me. When I whine about being busy, I want sympathy.
Yesterday, a whole bunch of stuff about AA went from being head knowledge to heart knowledge. Well, maybe not a whole bunch, but it sure feels like a major shift happened within me. I never understood our singleness of purpose before, however humbling that is to admit, in the way I do now. I hope to God that shift is reflected in my sharing at meetings from here on in. Ever since the session was over yesterday, the words "selfish and self centered" have been echoing in my head.
As for other communities I am a part of, I hope to do a better job at showing up instead of staying home. For a long time now it's been a real effort to show up. I don't know when gentle self care morphed into a sense of entitlement about how I spend my time but it has. There are things I'm involved in where I have simply been putting in time instead of being engaged in the commitment and the people I serve with. I imagine I'm going to be pondering that one for a while yet but realizing it made me save this post in draft form and go to church instead of staying home to finish writing.
Those Texans sure have some funny phrases. Fried Pie for one. I doubt we say redneck with the same affection that he called people fried pies. He said it in the same way one might call someone a knucklehead.
I was dying to go up to the speaker after and ask him if he knew this or that blogger but I realized that probably none of them use their real first name and that it wasn't my place to out them as bloggers so I restrained myself. Although it could very well be that him knowing y'all has about the same chance as when someone finds out I'm from Canada and wants to know if I know their relative that lives half way across the country.
I did, however, look up fried pie on a search engine. When all these Amish definitions came up I thought to myself there aren't Amish in Texas! Which makes me think of the time dearest one drove through Chicago, on the way to see me in Ontario. When he stopped for fuel and someone found out that he was from Canada they argued with him that Canadians lived in Igloos and there was snow year round no matter where you lived in Canada. Nothing dearest one said could convince that man otherwise. So as far as I know there very well could be Amish in Texas.
At any rate, according to that Texan, there sure are a lot of fried pies there. And they go to meetings, too.