Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Who Am I?

"Who am I if I'm not in control of everything?"

That's the question that popped into my head today while I was reading the memoir of this addict. He was writing about his struggle with who he would be without his famous hob knobbing girlfriend.

I've written here lately about feeling like my recovery is getting sloppy. This morning I was able to identify a few behaviours that were contributing to that feeling. When that became clear I was able to simply let go of them. I also picked up my Big Book for the first time in a few weeks. I read several daily reflection type of books but there's nothing like the Big Book to set my head straight again.

It's a little embarrassing to share with you the question at the beginning of this post. The question itself grabbed my attention though, enough that I put the book down and sat in silence, mulling it over for a while. I need reminding that there is a God and I'm not it. Which is what not being in control is all about for me. That and a lack of trust. Admitting that part doesn't bother me, it just is.

2 comments:

Black Pete said...

"Hob nobbing girlfriend"? Who?

Hope said...

He's changed her name to protect her anonymnity so I don't know who she is.