That's dearest one's code language for
let's talk about something else.
Being in a vehicle with dearest one
is one of my favourite places to be.
We have the best conversations while driving.
This particular morning we were getting honest about someone who rubbed us both the wrong way. As we talked I started to wonder why I was shoving all kinds of feelings off onto this person. One of those times when I slowly realized that it wasn't about the other person being who they are, but about how my reaction to them was about me. All me. It was while processing this out loud, and getting dangerously close to the truth, that dearest one asked me to shut up already. Well, he said it nicer than that, but that was the gist of it.
I'd read not too long ago how we circumvent breakthroughs because we try and run the other way when the feelings get too uncomfortable. I decided not to run but to stay with the dawning realization that was forming in my mind. As we navigated the exit loop off the highway, I asked myself a question out loud. Told dearest one that's the question I needed to sit with.
And then it was too late.
The truth was staring us both in the face
like a flashlight that hurts the eyes.
There is something about voicing things out loud
that can be far more startling
than just thinking them to myself.
I can dismiss something far easier if I never say it outloud.
If I only think it,
I can put it in a box
that I never plan on finding again.
I may not like the particular person we were talking about
any more than I did before dearest one and I had this conversation.
But at least I know, in that there's no going back kind of way,
that the problem lies within me.
"Every time you find yourself irritated or angry with someone, the one to look at is not that person but yourself. The question to ask is not, "What's wrong with this person?" but "What does this irritation tell me about myself?"
~ Anthony DeMello