Friday, July 24, 2009
7 Quick Takes Friday.
1. I've been working hard this week to get my blood sugar levels into a normal range. This morning I was close and that gives me hope. When I get absolutely honest with myself, the possibility of having Type II Diabetes bothers me mostly because of pride. I've read about it being totally preventable and I get a sense of failure at the thought. I was sure that maintaining my weight loss of 50 pounds over the past year would be enough to prevent it. After the pride it bothers me because I only have one kidney and I know diabetes can be hard on that organ. It took until yesterday for me to see that the best thing I can do is be proactive and do whatever it takes to keep my blood sugars as steady as possible. I was resistant to the thought of this being my reality up until then. That gives me pause for thought in so many areas of my life. I go get the initial bloodwork done on Monday.
2. One of our outside dogs died while I was away. She was the alpha dog of the whole works, pugs included. Our other outside dog is mourning. She stood guard outside the doghouse after the other dog died and wouldn't budge when dearest one tried to convince her to move so he could take the alpha dog out of it to go bury her. Dearest one had to physically move her away from standing guard. I was used to taking all four dogs on my walks with me. Last night I left the pugs in the house and the other dog couldn't be coaxed to join me. Dearest one buried alpha dog at the foot of some towering Evergreen trees.
3. One of my most favourite times on my recent trip was watching my niece read the novel that I wrote during NaNoWriMo last November. I have yet to do any editing on it and felt weird just handing it over to be read but this niece is in the target age group for which it was written and it was a joy to see her not being able to put it down. At one point there were three nieces reading it, passing pages from one to another. Pure joy.
4. One Sunday that I was away I went to Mass in a new to me parish. I don't think I will ever get used to some Catholic Churches without kneelers. I found out when I went to kneel anyway that the pews were so close together that I nearly chinned myself in the process. It's hard for me not to get an attitude when I kneel in a church without kneelers.....like a "look at little old holy me" and much worse attitude. Kind of defeats the purpose of prayer now, doesn't it? Or makes it more necessary. Lord have
mercy. The priest gave an excellent homily. Still mulling it over. What I took with me was that if we are struggling to be faithful then our hearts have been enlightened by Him so
don't lose heart. (Just lose the kneelers. Just kidding.)
5. That same Sunday I went to an AA meeting 5 minutes down the road from where I grew up. It's always interesting to me to see how another meeting/group operates. They were very welcoming and it was a good meeting. I could see it being my home group if I still lived there. There was one hard as nails woman who I could've been scared of but when she shared she was full of humility. I love that combination.
6. I got lost more times than I can count on my trip. The only city within driving distance to me has a population of about 50K. I was in a city of over a million. Driving down one of those 6 lane freeways that scare me. If you don't come down that exit ramp at top speed you are in danger of getting driven over. That's what it feels like. Due to forgetting my purse at at friend's house at one end of the city I ended up having to travel that freeway back and forth and then some. It no longer scares me like it did. Google maps doesn't tell the whole story either. One of the hostesses at the Bed and Breakfast, where I spent one weekend, looked at the other hostess and said, "This one has no sense of direction." That about sums it up. Staying at the Bed and Breakfast was another highlight of my trip. Getting lost wasn't. Eventually I decided that I was more capable than I thought of finding my way in scary situations. I need to remember that.
7. Today can be as good as I decide it to be. I can't control all the circumstances but I can choose my attitude about it. There are days when I could hit someone who has that outlook on life even when I know it's true no matter what is on my plate. You know, those days when you just don't want to hear it? That happened to me when I initially got to the B&B and told the hostess how lost I had been. I was not okay. I wanted to cry. I really wanted drama. In return, she told me what a sunny day it was and how good life was and how getting lost was not the end of the world. I felt dismissed and pissy when she said that. I just needed a moment of "you poor thing" and then I would've been fine. I wouldn't have milked it, I would've felt validated in my anxiety and fear and then would've been able to let it go. See. I wanted her to act in a certain way so that I would feel okay. Talk about giving my power away. In the end I decided she was a lousy listener and might have a problem with validating anyone's feelings, including her own. I have lots of practice at that. And then I decided that I could make the most of my day and I put my car in gear and went back to the freeway, still scared but I managed just fine. And it was a beautiful day, life was good and getting lost wasn't the end of the world. Although I never told her that.