Part of being sick of the journey lies in getting plain sick of me. I can just about guarantee when I have written about some breakthrough that it will only be a matter of days before what I thought I learned I didn't. I merely had a brief glimpse of what is true and history shows me it will take many, many glimpses to have the breakthrough more of a part of my life than a fading memory. I wish I could get that. I mean I wish I could remember that in the moment. To appreciate the glimpses when they happen and then rest, knowing they will come around again. Any major breakthroughs in my journey have that quality of mystery to them. The kind where you really can't put into words what happened, how or when. You just know it did and you aren't the same as you used to be. I am not sure why I keep trying to put it all in words, but I do. How to honour the mystery without dissecting it to death is a mystery in itself.
I have been reading Rick's posts (parts one, two, three, four, five, and six) about his spiritual journey and they have been making me think hard. Think back. I have often said how thankful I am that I came to a relationship with God outside of a church. I was blissfully naive about any church person's expectations for a long while. It was several years before I realized people expected me to act a certain way or dress a certain way in order to be one of 'them.' Then I got it in a big, big way. The kind of way that has made me do the 'us' and 'them' dance ever since. I regret that reality. I have known for years now that Jesus is not into the us and them game. Never was. Never will be. I think Rick's words posted below are a key to the journey of being free of the us and them mentality. If God is looking for me then I know God is looking for you too.
"God is in our lives whether we know it or not. Even when you cannot feel God or think that you have lost your way, God is there. This journey is not about an institution or finding a church. This journey is about meeting and encountering God in our daily life and one definitely does not need to be religious to encounter God. I believe the message of Jesus’ life is about humanity discovering the nearing presence of God in our midst. God has come searching for us. God is looking for you. Regardless of where you are in your journey God is looking for you. God seeks us until we are found. It is about love. The love of God is the reason we exist. You are not bad and unworthy despite what conventional religion may have attempted to get you to believe. You are loved by the Source of Light and Life. Jesus said that the “kingdom” of God is in us.
Go to your closet, open your heart and you will find God is already there waiting for you.
You are loved.
You are loved.
You are loved." ~My Story: a brief pause