Tuesday, April 25, 2006

In My Face

The day can only get better. I drove to the closest town this morning and managed to go there and back without getting done what I went there for. Sigh. Just about 70 km round trip just to have to get in the van and do it all over again. There was one point on my first trip where I asked myself what I had gone there for in the first place and came up blank. Oh well. Home again safe and sound.

We saw only daugher in her performance on Saturday. She was brilliant. The only disturbing part was that her character did a lot of crying in the play and every time she cried I did too. At one point the injustice her character was facing was nearly overwhelming and I had to tell myself that standing up and protesting was not an option. Youngest son has an overdeveloped sense of justice and we already warned him when he sees his sister in her show this coming weekend that he shouldn't worry because it all works out in the end. This is the lad who yelled outloud at the theatre screen during the movie White Fang when he was younger. The lad who would take a shit kicking if it meant he had defended the under dog.

Normally when we leave the little town where only daughter lives we have to travel over half an hour before we can see the mountains on the horizon. Sunday morning they were visible within minutes of leaving her house. Not a cloud in the sky, only beautiful white crested mountains in view. It was just too tempting. I suggested we take the long way home and go through the mountains. We did. I am not a spontaneous person. So much so that the kids all thought it must have been their dad's idea that we go through Banff and Jasper National Parks to make our way home. Being outside of tourist season we had the highway nearly to ourselves the whole way. It was wonderful. There aren't words to describe mountains adequately. Even though the route made our homeward trip over 12 hours long instead of 8 we felt more rested because of the lack of traffic and the beautiful surroundings. Listening to this lovely duo play harp music only added to the trip.

It is good to be home. I did realize on this trip that I like the travelling more than I like arriving somewhere. If only it could be like that otherwise. In the spiritual I am tired of the journey. I want arrival. The reading at Mass this morning talked of our adversary prowling like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. I am very weary of the battle. I feel like the lion has been roaring right in my face for a very long time. I am back to feeling like making myself list upon list to reign myself in. It is so very hard to stay in the moment, experiencing it, instead of ignoring it, sidestepping it, wanting it to go away. I do take comfort in the fact that the Scriptures said this morning to take heart that believers all over the world undergo the same suffering. After all if I am going to continue to journey instead of arrive, I do need reminding I am not alone on the trip.

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