Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Soul Pukes

Quite the title isn't it? Soul Pukes is what my daughter calls doing Morning Pages. I have written about them before and how I have done them for about 10 years now. My daughter described soul puking as all those things that are swimming around in our pysche and how writing them down is like splatting them on the page. She tells me this while we are driving home from town and has no idea I have been avoiding soul pukes for at least a week already. That's never a good sign. Oh, I still do morning pages but I haven't let myself do more than scratch the surface of my thoughts. I don't want to hear how having a good soul puke will make me feel better. I tell her none of this.

I get like this when I don't want to face what is swimming around in my psyche. I am not sure why I try to dodge it all because sooner or later the only cure is to soul puke. But right now I am just letting those beasties swim around in my pysche. It feels a bit like being Jonah's whale and Jonah at the same time.

1 comment:

Stella said...

Ugh. I think I'm going to be stuck here for tonight. Soul pukes. I don't understand the morning journal thing you talk about. But reading your blog makes me want to start writing again. But I am tired of writing for(to) myself but also, my blog is not (entirely) anonymous and lately I have been (publicly) advertising it. But not really doing anything with it. Oh crap. I should just make this into a blog post on my own dusty site. I want to write but I'm scared to spill my guts but I can't write anything else but from my heart and soul. But I am so tired of hiding, of pretending. Of hiding who I really am so as not to offend or disappoint someone. Wow. Where has all this come from?!