So Much Goodness

I thought I knew what I was going to write when I logged in but here I sit looking at a lot of white space instead.

I've spent the morning finishing Patrick Carnes' book Out of the Shadows. A book about understanding sexual addiction. I realized while in treatment that my compulsive overeating and sexual addiction started before I ever turned to alcohol. If I slip in these areas then the alcohol will eventually follow. Want to know a neat acronym for the word SLIP? Sobriety has Lost Its Priority. Works for me.

This book had such good information in it. Stuff that I articulated in treatment without any knowledge that it was a common theme for addicts of all kinds. Like holding these core beliefs:

1. I am basically a bad, unworthy person
2. No one would love me as I am.
3. My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend upon others.

Carne's counters with new beliefs:

1. I am a worthwhile person deserving of pride.
2. I am loved and accepted by people who know me as I am.
3. My needs can be met by others if I let them now what I need.

The last page of the book had a quote from Walt Whitman that brought instant tears to my eyes:

"I am larger, better that I thought.
I did not know I held so much goodness."

I'm starting to believe that in my heart.
Thanks be to God.