Wednesday, August 14, 2013

What I've Been Up To

I recently spent three days in silence and solitude. Well, I didn't quite last the full three days. I caved in about three hours before my 72 hours were up. For a first try I was happy with that. Much of the time I was content to be silent and alone. There were times when I just wanted to talk to someone and I felt antsy.

The worst was when I sent Dearest One a text late at night to come make sure the noise I was hearing outside was not a bear. He concluded - after hearing the same noises outside the house later - and because the hair on the back of his neck stood up when he stepped outside - that it was more likely a cougar than a bear. Gives me the shivers to think about it.

My dog stayed with me in the holiday trailer for company - well truthfully I had my dog along so he wouldn't drive Dearest One batty in the house looking for me for three days straight - but I knew if I started talking to the dog I wouldn't shut up, so I didn't.

I found it soothing to sit and look out over our pasture and watch the birds flit between the fence posts and barbed wire. The weather was lovely and warm. A touch of mugginess with plenty of heat. Sitting in my lawn chair reading a book or just sitting and doing nothing. I soaked it up. It felt like a beautifully simple few days.

Three weeks ago today I wrote in my journal, 'the despair has lifted." I am so relieved that it's still true and that I am generally happy these days. Hopeful. Thanks be to God.

6 comments:

Daisy said...

That sound good to me. And I bet other people might find it nice for me to stop talking for 3 days as well.

Jim said...

I'm trying to imagine looking for silence and solitude by "camping out" alone in bear and cougar country. To this old man, that says "not without a gun, or a sling shot, or something...". The idea of "needing space", a time apart to search "self" and seek His presence is nice to attempt whenever. wherever one can find it...

Peter said...

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Erin Wilson said...

I hope that it's still true for you... that the despair is gone.

xoxo

Hope said...

It is, Erin. So thankful.

annie said...

It's so good to read your work again! I too, hope the despair is still lifted.