Thursday, July 30, 2009

Star Light, Star Bright....

There are stars in the night sky again.
I think the last time I saw them it was May.
Since then the sky has stayed alight way past bedtime
causing me to miss the stars.
And miss them, I do.

I've been thinking such random thoughts lately.
Twenty plus years ago we had these neighbours.
The parents were about 40ish
and walked by our house every single night.
Getting their exercise.
They walked military like.
Didn't hold hands.
Brisk. They meant business.
Grim. Their faces were etched with it.

I was only in their home once.
She offered us mint chocolate chip cookies.
I'd never tasted them before.
She kept them in a gallon glass jar.
I saw her look at him as we each took a cookie.
Alarm bells went off in my head
as she gauged his expression.
I wonder if he got after her once we left
for sharing her cookies with us.

They sold honey. We were in their house to buy some.
We went down into the basement to pick out
which size pail we wanted.
On the way to the honey room
was their pantry.
There were several boxes of laundry detergent
on the shelf. The store had had a sale she told me.
It never occurred to me to buy
more than one box of detergent at a time.
Stock up on basics.
So simple but I needed someone
to show me by example it was possible.

I had a friend who was seriously depressed.
Everyone was concerned about her.
She lost so much weight she looked anorexic.
I would go visit, sit at her kitchen table and listen to her.
I vividly remember the day she told me that a person
had the right to change their mind.
"They did?" I thought to myself.
I didn't know that.
I had invested so much energy into being right at all costs,
that it didn't occur to me that saying the words,
"I've changed my mind,"
was an option.
Such a simple phrase but I needed someone
to show me by example it was possible.

Just random stuff I need to get out of my head.
Wonder why I'm thinking about those grim walking folks.
I suspect he was a mean son of a bitch.
I hope life has mellowed him.

My friend who was depressed.
I wonder if she's still curbing her dreams
to help her husband find his.
It drove me crazy watching her do that.
Our friendship hasn't stood the test of time.
I will always be grateful though
for her teaching me that it's okay to change my mind.
Even when it comes to friendship.

I've had lots of time to think this week.
The first full week in 4 months that I've spent at home.
Dearest one is away fishing with his brother.
I am cleaning and sorting to my heart's content.
Tonight I will crawl into bed and look at the stars.
Even though stars in the night sky
mean that summer is waning,
seeing them will comfort me.


Gabriella Moonlight said...

I can't tell you in words how amazing this post is, to hear/read the thoughts of another with such grace, wonderment of the lessons that God gives us through always amazes always perplexes me the choices we make, but truthfully it never will stop making me love the humanness of us....thank you Hope!

Steve E. said...

Well, I'll be #2 journeying with you today. Beautiful thoughtful memories which set into reflection, anyone who reads this.
Peacefulness is here.

Gin said...

Sometimes I have days like this where I will wonder and contemplate the most mundane things that ended up shaping my life in little and large ways. Great post!

Owen said...

"I will always be grateful though
for her teaching me that it's okay to change my mind.
Even when it comes to friendship."

A huge Amen from this corner.

Prayer Girl said...

Discovering that I could actually change my mind and then change my life was a blessing God gave me. AA and Al-Anon helped me learn how to go about accomplishing this.

Loved this post, Hope -

daisymarie said...

I sat here for the longest time trying to remember the last time I saw the stars. The mosquitos chased us in during June and July went by in a blink. So now August will have to have a few summer stars left.