Friday, February 27, 2009

Beserkdom

I've been home alone most of the week.
Originally I was supposed to join dearest one in town
where we are house sitting.
Between the cold weather and being sick
I stayed home.
Dearest one's folks were looking forward
to keeping the energizer bunny
so youngest son took her there Tuesday night anyways.
So I've been alone, really alone, for days.

Today I need to go to town and get my yearly
squishfest torture done.
That would be a mammogram.
There is a history of pre menopausal
breast cancer in my family.
My mom has had it twice and a younger first cousin
had it a few years ago.
I've had four lumpectomies
but thankfully no malignancies.
I don't know how accurate mammos are
but they give me some level of comfort
even though there are a few moments
when I am cursing the torture necessary
to have the comfort.

It's been a good week. A steady week
where I've been in a good place
mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Having my heart turned towards God lays the foundation
for it all. And there's this weird dynamimc
where I know it takes God's grace to turn my heart
so I can't even take credit for that.

I am ready to stop being alone, though.
When the kids were little and I had some alone time
the increase in noise level when they came home
was always a rude awakening.
Like a shock to the system.
Within an hour it seemed normal again.

People noise means life is happening.
So in that way I like noise.
I don't like unnecessary yappy dog noise though.
Nevah.
Tomorrow we are getting the energizer bunny a friend.
He better not be yappy.
I hope she loves him.
The energizer bunny is dearest one's dog through and through.
Dearest one's mom wanted to show his dad how much so.
She said to the energizer bunny: "Where's (Dearest one)?"
Which is what I do when he comes home from work.
That's her cue to race to the window
and go completely beserk.
It's a nice kind of beserk.
Noise included.
There's so much love in her at that moment.
When my dear mother in law said this
just to show dad her sweet beserkness,
energizer bunny went racing full speed to the door,
beserkness engaged.
My mother in law felt sick.
She hadnt' realized how completely dearest one's the dog is.
So she picked her up and gave her some loving.
I can only imagine the beserkdom that is in store for her today.
It makes me smile just thinking about it.

4 comments:

Duckie said...

How strange that you're getting a mammogram today. My last thoughts before drifting off to sleep where that of a mammogram procedure. Or what I know of the procedure. So when you mentioned "squishfest" I did a mental "aha!". haha.

Well... have fun?

:)

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Aw the boobie squish, i have to get one every two years at this point...phew! What sort of friend will Energizer Bunny be getting? Oh boy let the chaos ensue!!!

Hugs

mile191 said...

What a good reminder that noise means your life is good and full. Thanks. Nice post. Good luck with the appointment. Never fun.

steveroni said...

Hope, I knew what "squishfest" was, you didn't have to 'splain. And I don't have (never mind!)...

And I'll bet Energizer B. knows what he's doing (with Ma-in-Law.)!!!