Monday and the first of the month.
Lord have mercy.
That combination used to trigger insanity for me.
Used to be the day when I would promise myself
that this month I would get my shit together,
would revamp my life,
would chase after perfection.
It would be the month when I got all my ducks in a row
and woe to the one that stepped out of line.
I just might shoot it.
(Kid.ding. We have guns in the house and I never so much as touch them. They make me nervous. Well, me handling a gun makes me nervous. It should make everyone around me nervous, too. Did I ever tell you about the time youngest son was fixing a rifle for someone else? He was about 12. He brought it upstairs to show me the cool lever action, reassured me he had counted 22 bullets in and 22 bullets out, and promptly shot a hole right through the wall just inches above the dishwasher. We were all standing very close. A coat zipper on the other side of the wall stopped the bullet.)
Well, that was quite the tangent.
As you can see, the ducks have no fear of having to be lined
up perfectly these days.
They know I'm not going to shoot a one of them.
I'm grateful a perfectionistic mindset is not running my life anymore.
I have no other goals for today other than
what I'd have if it were any other Monday.
I had a very full weekend.
Two AA birthday meetings - a treat for me.
When I hugged my sponsor hello yesterday,
she asked me to present her card and medallion to her.
I sat there and had quite the conversation in my head
about what I was going to say,
reminding myself that it wasn't about me,
and prayed that I could simply speak from my heart.
The funniest moment was when an elderly member said his goal was to live to be 100 and then get killed by a jealous husband. I imagine his ducks will have to be slightly misaligned for his goal to come true.