Sunday, October 19, 2008

Looking Up

Every time I open one of my daily reflection books I see my bookmark which says, "Look up and live." It's such a good motto for recovery. It's probably not what the power company had in mind for its use when they distributed it but, hey, it works for me.

I've had the worst attitude lately towards someone new in my life.
Came pretty close to flipping them the bird last week I was so, so pissed off.
Without the 12 steps I'd still be making excuses for my reaction.
Fr. Charlie reminded me this week that recovery gives me choices.
Healthy choices.
Like opening my mouth and saying my piece, not depending on
the other person to change in order for me to have some peace.
And while I can bitch and moan with the best of them,
and sometimes even bitch and moan that the 12 steps beckons me
to take the high road,
in the end I'm glad I have choices.
Besides, it kept me from sticking out my foot
and tripping this person as they walked by me.
Damn, that was close.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"not depending on the other person to change in order for me to have some peace."

See, I know I'm still very much there. Afraid to think what it's going to take for me to speak up the way I know would be healthier. I'm still so very stuck in the "don't rock the boat" survival mode. Crap. I feel like a stale onion.

Mich

Patty said...

Tee hee. I love your honesty!

Owen said...

What you asked me to do, I did and trusted God to work out the time zone issue. :)

Hope said...

Thanks Owen.
Let's be onions together there Mich.
And Patty - that day was a day of experienceing my humanity at its fullest. Full of possibilities and choices. Thank God I didn't stick out my foot. Which is a nice change from sticking my foot in my mouth.