Thursday, June 19, 2008

600 Steps

This is post number 600.
Not sure there's any significance to that.
It has reminded me that putting one foot in front of another
for 600 posts has me further along on the journey.
Or at least in a different place.
It's sometimes embarrassing to be so honest with you all.
And sometimes embarrassing how much navel gazing I do in public.
Such as write about post 600.

Oh well. It's certainly been a journey.
So if I'm going to take navel gazing to a new height
is there a post of mine that you especially remember
or that made a difference?
Or is it just watching the twists and turns over time
that keep you coming back?

It's late.
I'm tired.
Dearest one is out of town on work related business.
Once upon a time we used to celebrate when
the other person would get the bed all to themselves
for a night when one of us was away.
Not sure when that changed.
But sleeping alone is not my idea of a good time anymore.
I'm tempted to wake the energizer bunny and see if she wants to sleep in my bed.
She has a habit of sleeping right up against me in a very comforting manner.

Anyhow sleep must come so I leave you with this poem by Mary Oliver. I think it sums up my journey through treatment and beyond especially.

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ by Mary Oliver ~


annie said...

Hope,I "owe" you a debt of gratitude as a result of your honest reflections on your own journey. I will be back later to explain, or will send an email. But for now, know that I, for one, have kept coming back because your journey has been an encouragement for me.

Heidi Renee said...

I love them all, really - but this one I have pinned in my bloglines because I just like where you were when you wrote it - it's almost 11 months to the day - see how far you've come:

and you even brought a swimming suit! :) so proud of you!

daisymarie said...

Congrats on your perseverance. Thank you for your candidness.
Bless you for being so giving and loving.

Anonymous said...

Thank you Hope for helping me on my journey. Tonight God put 2 survivors right next to me at an AA meeting. We had no idea about each other, until one of them spoke and said what I needed to hear. I know God is gently guiding me on this journey. Sometimes it is really a tough row to hoe, you inspire me more than you ever know.

Anonymous said...

Hope, there's no possible way I could pick only a couple of posts, truly. There have been so many that have made an impact, sometimes large, sometimes a nudge. When I grow up, I want to be as honest as you. ;)

I'd have to go back, read 'em all and take notes mostly because my memory is even shorter than I am. Most recently, the post about the development of the radio documentary and your reactions to your daughter's play stick with me.


Under there... said...

Congrats no only the milestone, but also for the many lives you have obviously touched! Well done!