Hibernating within the four walls of our home during the cold snap has made it hard to keep track of what day of the week it is. Today it was -26C and I braved going for my walk. I was wrapped up head to toe and while it wasn't exactly enjoyable it was good to get out of the house. It's been 5 days since I've done little more than stick my head out the door to call the dog back in. The cold weather hasn't been any fun for her either but we do know now that she is indeed litter box trained. I never knew such a thing was possible for a dog. I've said thank you many times in my head to the original owner who did all the hard work of training her so that I don't have to.
My food has been totally off this week. I've been snacking my way through the day, feeling like making a meal is a monumental task I just cannot face. At my last appointment my counselor gave me home work having to do with my childhood. It involved framing out a family tree of addictions, abuse and dysfunction as well as drawing a map of the house I grew up in. It was surprising what strong feelings welled up within me as I did each exercise. I realized I felt safe in only one room of the house and that was the dining room. I used to save up stuff to tell my mom at the dining room table as it was the safest place to have a voice without facing a backlash for doing so. That was an interesting piece of the puzzle for me. No wonder food is such a comfort.
Between the extreme cold weather and doing the homework it's been a tough slog this week. When I get shaky in my recovery I find myself going back to basics. Good self care tops the list and from there it's easier to do the next right thing. Little by little I'm integrating good self care back into my daily routine. Putting one foot in front of the other...it can only get better (and warmer!)