Sunday, November 04, 2007

Grateful Reality

No snow. Beautiful sunshine. Frost on the grass. A new day.

My AA meeting yesterday was uplifting. So good to have a place to go where I can be human without apology. No fear of judgement. Just the nod of heads because we all know we can be just as human and messed up as the next person. To be in a place where I know I'm going to be loved and accepted for who I really am.

As I drove up to the parking lot I felt grateful. Then I felt grateful that I was grateful! It only gets better. Before recovery I was only capable of being grateful if life was going my way. With all my ducks lined up in a row, none falling over, then I might feel grateful. That's the insanity of addiction, being grateful for an illusion.

Being grateful for reality is so much better.

2 comments:

daisymarie said...

grateful for the experience of this moment...this trial...this day.

not sure. but in the end grateful for the anger that turned into energy that helped me excavate my dining room table for its unfortunate case of terminal clutter.

onionboy said...

It's taken me some time to fully admit to one of my addictions, something that started out fine but went off the rails and that's blogging. Some people can cut back a little and do fine. I've had to pretty much cut it off. Since I have, I've been finding it easier to be grateful. God bless you Hope.