Sunday, November 25, 2007

Creature of Habit

My sponsor celebrated her AA birthday today. It was fun to see her receive her card and medallion for 17 years of sobriety. The cake was good, too! This woman has been a Godsend in my life and I thank God for her. I trust her in a way I trust few people. She's honest, compassionate and kicks my butt when necessary. I'm blessed.

While sitting in the meeting today, a meeting I've never been at before, I realized what a creature of habit I tend to be. I'm not much of a risk taker. This meeting was much larger than what I'm used to. My home group has a handful of members and a big meeting there is 10 people. The meeting I was at today had 3 times that many at least. But there were familiar faces among them and for that I was glad. For the fourth time in a week or so I had someone who hadn't seen me in a while tell me, "You're glowing." Today they added, "Whatever you did at treatment worked because it's showing in your face." My smile just got bigger.

I got home in time to go to Mass where there is on a good Sunday, 10 people. How can you tell I'm not much of a crowd person? This new priest we have cuts through it all to preach Jesus again and again and again. I'm being challenged every week and am still mulling over his homilies from 6 weeks ago. I like being challenged like that.

I spent the rest of the afternoon watching the Grey Cup (go Riders!!) and a few of my favourite tv shows. There again I have my favourites and Sunday is really the only day of the week when I call dibs on the TV remote.

In between I phoned my mom and made an amend for something I said to her last night. Well, it was more like a clarification. I had spoken a truth about someone in a rather blunt way. Speaking that bluntly is breaking the unspoken rules in my family. That part didn't bother me a bit. What did bother me was that I let the comment stand as if that bit of truth about the person was the WHOLE truth about them. As I listened in the AA meeting today and heard people talk about what it used to be like, what happened and what it's like now I thought of this distant family member I had spoken about (who died just over a week ago) and knew I hadn't been fair in letting my comment stand as if it was the whole truth about them. Without the fellowship of AA I wouldn't know there was another way to look at life. Including my own. For if I'd let that comment stand I would be saying I'm also characterized by my screw ups, and God knows I've made my share. I'd like to say it was easy to call my mom and clarify it but it wasn't. The good news though is that I did it. And for that I'll sleep easier tonight.

Snow is falling outside so dearest one and youngest son have plans to stay over in town until Wednesday night at oldest son's home. Being alone is one of my greatest times of temptation to relapse. Thank God I only have to do this one day at a time, one minute at a time, if necessary. That I know enough to pick up the phone if need be. God grant me the grace to make good choices.

1 comment:

Steve F. said...

As a friend of mine is fond of saying, if no one pisses me off bad between now and Wednesday, Weds. will be 17 years for me. Year 16 has definitely been the most challenging for me, in a number of ways... but, as I've often heard it said, you're either changing and growing or dying...

You've found a priest that preaches Jesus, and not "the church." Hold onto that man, sister - he's a rarity, from what I've seen...

Do yourself a favor - find a copy of Michael Yaconelli's Messy Spirituality. And then sit down and read it. You will be absolutely amazed, I think - it's a message that the rest of the church is barely, barely aware of. But it's what we all need to hear - especially those of us in 12-step communities. The idea of "notorious sinners" came from there. If you don't like it, I'll buy it from you...I promise.