Wednesday, October 17, 2007

My Heart Knows

I can't stop crying this morning. I find that a comfort when I think of all the years I spent numb to their presence. I can sit here and let them be today. This past summer I remember someone telling me that she had cried all the way home from work. I remember envying her ability to do that. To let them out as they rose up in her. My tears were reserved for the big deals of life. The kind where anyone would be in tears. Other than that they were few and far between. So to simply sit here and cry is a good thing. Only daughter has talked about honouring the tears, especially the snotty nose, give me a box of kleenex kind of tears. I think of that every time the tears spill over and it helps me honour them, too.

What started them rolling was this post. I still can't explain why the tears spilled over at the reading of it. They simply did. I'm not even going to try to figure it out. I don't need to. I need to let them be; accepting that my heart knows what my head doesn't need to.


Anonymous said...

Hope, I THINK I know why you were moved to tears over that post. I had a similar reaction. sigh

Not So Anonymous Friend

Anonymous said...

Me, too. The tears poured. Actually read your comment to the post, Hope, and that also gave me food for thought, believe me. It gave me another little shove to do the work.

I use to cry easily when I was little but life soon taught me that I was way too vulnerable when I did. I'm re-learning that it is okay to cry, even when I'm forced into it.


the Mom said...

I apologize for starting the waterworks flowing, unless you needed a good cry...then, you're welcome.

the Mom

Brian said...


Good to hear from you -- "hi" back to you. It sounds like the grace of Jesus is ravishing you, as always. I love it.