Youngest son is doing well. To not have underlying tension between us is a gift. It was easier and less stressful with an empty nest, though. On the positive side (feels like a negative some moments) I am being stretched and challenged to really live my program of recovery. My big book is on my bedside table now and I read it regularly. I am looking forward to tomorrow's AA birthday meeting with one of my favourite people in recovery celebrating 20 years of sobriety.
Oldest son had his 21st birthday this week. We're hoping to see him this weekend. I don't know if I mentioned that he got engaged on St. Patrick's Day but if I didn't, just know I'm pretty pleased. I think about all those nights of tucking him in as a little boy and praying for his future wife. Some (silent)prayers were "omg, give her plenty of help to accept his pack rat ways." Others were prayers for a young woman with God on the radar screen. And this young woman has that. I don't know how any marriage can survive, especially these days, without God at the center of it. Actually I like her so much that the last time they came to visit I wanted oldest son to leave her here because we weren't done visiting yet. And only daughter finally gets a sister. That makes me teary.
Dearest one. The new job is a great opportunity for growth. He's capable and doing well at the job. There are days though when he'd like to hide under a rock instead. I don't know if it's all the stuff with youngest son or the court ruling or the stresses of the new job but he often looks haggard these days. Lots to sort out there.
And me? I came to the difficult conclusion this past while that I need to talk to my doctor about pain management. I don't know if it's the result of going to the chronic pain/fatigue group, which has taught me to be much more aware of my body, or the stress of having youngest son move back home or what, but I'm now aware that I wake up at night to roll over because I'm in pain and that same pain is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore during the day as well. I don't know what managing that is going to look like but I've finally accepted that doing so is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Oh, yes - we survived 6 solid months of