Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Coasting is what I feel like I am doing right now in life. Couldn't care less about anything. Trying to be in the moment but feeling like there is no point to this moment. Feeling guilty that I can't even fake a gratitude list. Feeling like I am living in a self induced vicious cycle. No journalling, no meditation. No quiet of soul. Auto pilot existence. And I feel like it is up to me to do something about it. Do something about the numbness. I think I used to live like this all the time. A safely masked existence. I know this will pass but do I want it to? The glimmer of hope? This is day 8 of abstinence.